I just felt the need to send a little Thank you to family far and near, old friends, new friends here and there ..
A Thank you for always being there when we feel the need to cry, vent, stand up and shout, sit down and pout, and when we need to laugh and feel your arms around us, your love surrounding us … you seem to have that for us too .. you are always there and for that we all thank you so so much …
Carole and the kids are in bed. Little Dakota was very tired. I guess going to to school full time makes you a little tired. Carole is ok for the most part, She is great to the kids. She just keeps it all inside when they are around, I dont know how but she is so strong when it comes to the kids. Me not so much. I just tell them to go ask your mother. She will start the trial on Sep 9th. It is in Hot Springs AR. This next week we go back to MD Anderson for more scans. MRI and CT. And the blood work. We will let everyone know when we find out, She has had a lump form on her breast and a lump under her arm. We do not know what they are. Im going to say this just how I can I hope everyone understands, Carole could not go back to MD Anderson tell now because of our Insurance. My insurance with Comcast stopped on 7-1-2010. We could not pay Cobra 1490.00 a month to keep it going. I tried to get help with the premium and could not. I have tried to find a job, But everyone wants to know why I no longer work at Comcast and I tell them I got hurt on the job and they fired me when the Dr said I could not squat. I still get 60% of my wage until they settle , But not my insurance. Even with a new job they will not insure Carole because of the pre existing condition. I thank Carole is a little mad at me. I tried to get on with Comcast in Humble or Houston in the phone center but they never called me back after I talked with 3 human resource workers and sent my resume. I know god has a plan and we will do his will. We have food on the table roof over our heads and each other. Mom has asked for help on this for us and now I must also. If you could help in any way we would appreciate it. Remember early detection is key to beating this go for a checkup. Hope you all well
Thanks
Jimmie
It was Dakota’s first day of school today. Carole and I took him to school and he stayed all day without a tear. He came home and said he liked it. He loves his teacher, and the toys, He played outside on the slide. He ate lunch and took a little nap. He was so happy. Carole was so happy. Our little one is in school it is so cool. Daddy is just a little happy also. I want to let everyone know Carole says she is feeling strange lately. Not this Sunday but next Sunday our church is going to fast and pray for her. I would like everyone to pray every day. I would also like everyone to ask someone that does not know about Carole to pray for her that Sunday. I know the more people that pray the better. I don’t know what is going to happen. I pray we get to keep her with us and she beats this. It is hard to talk to her face to face because I know everything that is wrong, I try to have faith but I always see or hear bad things. I am so mad, angry. ITS NOT FARE for Carole to have to go though this. We all cry for her all the time, I should be strong for her and the kids. I try. I am sorry you all have to see the good with the bad. I will write more later.
Thanks James
Enjoy a few pictures of the kids on their first back to school day
AND
Dakota’s very first day of school
and laugh and laugh. I forgot about this until I downloaded my pictures from the camera just now.
Here dad .. I can do that for you!
No really dad .. it’s looking good!
ok just let me take off a little more in this side
and now to clean up behind the ears ..
HEY MOM!! you and daddy match now
but I have to wonder which scarf Jimmie will wear:) lol
hugs those next to you folks!
First off I need to say My 1st baby Ashley is here with her soon to be husband and there 2 children. Ashley told us she is pregnant. So So happy All hoping for a girl, except daddy he wants a boy. We will all be happy with what comes out. Ashley and Anthony might get married on the 24 th of September. If everything works out. And baptized on the 25th. They are turning there lives around. Im so happy I can be there for them, They are both trying to go back to school. Carole and I will support them in any way they need help. As all who know Carole she loves to help. She has always said if we ever get that phone call ” Dad I need help” we would be there. And some how she like always was right. She puts others first and just lives day by day. Carole and I talked and we have noticed the last 2 weeks we have not talked about her being sick. It is like she never was sick ” I wish”. We are going to get back on some type of treatment. She does not look sick but the hair every night reminds me this was not a dream. I tell Carole every day I love her and she is my world. I just wish I could do more and more everyday for her. I know this was more for me then all of you, Thanks for reading and your prayers and please hug someone.
Thanks
Jimmie
That there may be times when you laugh with us and times when you cry …. I cried the whole time I wrote this. If memories make your heart smile then why on earth do the tears roll?
I changed the photo’s today for the slide show .. most of the photo’s I took myself .. some Jimmie took, some the kids took. I see the smiling faces and remember what each sound was like around me as I took mine, the laughter, the smiles. I look at the pictures that others took and remember the text that was sent to me as they came into my blackberry ..or the story that was told me
.. The happiness I felt when I listened to Carole tell me of her great Independence day escape, of her dance, of the laughter of the kids, the wheelchair, Carole’s walking stick that became her pole for her freedom dance .. and the tears flow
.. I remember talking on the phone with Carole almost the whole time they were getting ready for church and them looking for and finding Dakota’s belt, getting all the shoes on ..
.. then later them telling me that Dakota was tired of taking pictures (ya got to really look at his face in the picture where you can tell they are ready for church .. too funny) ..
.. I remember Jimmie teasing Carole about her being his .. ummmm WITCH! several years ago when Tim and I handed down our costumes to them for Halloween ..even while laughing the tears are rolling down my cheeks
.. I remember Jimmie telling me how much fun Dakota had at the Zoo and all the pictures that Jimmie sent me, then I remember that was the day that Carole had so much happen during her blood infusion and her week stay at the hospital because of it .. and the tears flow remembering how very bad that week was and how much pain Carole was in
.. I remember having my camera in my hand when I looked down and saw Dakota laughing at something behind me and I snapped off a couple of him ..
Do I put up the pictures for you all .. or do I put them up for me? I don’t know, I do know that I want you all to see the beautiful family that I see .. the laughter in and behind the photo’s .. does that show? Will it still show 10 years from now? Will I still sit with tears flowing so hard that I find myself saying ‘thank goodness for spell check!”
I take lots and lots of photo’s .. they are memories caught in time. Now I ask you to do the same, take at least one photo a day, flowers, pets, maybe your clean living room, kids, neighbors kids .. take some snapshots and hug .. give lots and lots and lots of hugs!!
Hug someone close to you, because life can change in a heartbeat
ok .. mailbox is full of “whats happening” (s) so I thought I better jump in and write a little:) Still no word on what is going to happen in Arkansas .. waiting for paper work and such. I can tell you from first hand experience that Carole is doing great. Guess what .. the doctor has even released her to drive! So she is pretty happy about that:)
When I arrived to Texas Jan-Nell (one of Jimmie’s kids) was here visiting, she has gone back to New York. Jan-Nell had a birthday when she was here .. so of course grandma (that would be me:) took a picture of her face after it was shoved into the cake .. a little family tradition:)
His oldest daughter, her boyfriend and kids are here. Gotta tell you that it is sooooooooooooooooo much fun hearing the oldest (3 years old) calling for grandma and or grandpa .. tooooooo funny!:) Here is a picture of the youngest (4 months old)
SO with the oldest here and plenty of help in the house for a little while I am going to head to Brunswick for a couple of weeks. I am taking with me everything that I have been working on (Shoes, puppies and bathing suits) .. just gotta love things you can travel with:)
Ya’ll have a great great week and I will catch you on the flip flop .. taking computer home too so you might even see me on a list or two! 
Hug someone close to you right now! because life can change in an instant
lots of love ~Sherrie
I guess i should let everyone know Carole is doing good right now. The Dr is stopping chemo, It is not working. We have found a Clinical trial drug called Ipilimumab. It is in Hot springs Arkansas. We are hoping this works. She will get one dose every 3 weeks. The sponsor is Bristol-Myers Squibb who pays for the drug itself. The Dr and Hospital is paid for by us. My med insurance at work is no good right now because Comcast terminated me. I do have the choice to get cobra at 1460.00 a month. Carole and I can not afford that at all. I need to keep the insurance because of the cancer. I have found a few places that will help with premium payments with different cancers but not with Melanoma. So I will keep looking. And please if anyone knows of a place that can help please let us know.
If any of you happen to own or manage a hotel or motel in Hot Springs we sure could use a cheap room:)
just letting friends and family know that we made it to Texas .. Tim and left Brunswick at 10:30pm Wednesday night .. pretty sad because we started to leave sooooooooooooooo much earlier! anyway we finally got out of town and made it to Shepherd about 4pm Friday. BUT you know what is really wrong with all that? Tim left here at noon on Sunday after church (we went with the kids) and he made it back home at 2:30 in the afternoon on MONDAY! We found out that we took the loooonnnnngggg way here. crazy!
I have lots of new pictures and will be changing out the top slideshow in the next couple of days .. but have to remember how I did it in the first (and second) place:) lol
We all went to the Temple today. It was the most amazing thing. We all felt the spirit so strong today. Carole and I will be sealed together with our children very soon. My daughter Jan-Nell from New York is coming down to stay for a little while. Joshua is going to see his dad in California for a few weeks. It is almost normal in our house. Carole has a Dr appt on Monday. He is going to talk about treatment. We have church at 9 im going to bed now. Like mom said Hug someone. Have a good nite
Jimmie
Hey all .. just posting a short one to let you all know that this is a good week … Carole gets one a month and it is always the week before she goes back in the hospital .. so they are busy doing family things, and living life with smiles.
I am getting ready to leave for my trip and it is great that Tim will be able to take me:) It means I can take more crap … errrrrrr … crafts! with me:) lol I have a couple of little doggies I will be working on when I have time there plus a yorkie pattern (crochet), plus a couple of special back packs for Leeann … so I will have a few bags, boxes, and things with me:)
We have all the animals set up:) The dogs will be going to special resort for animals here while we are gone … we have been given a wonderful deal due to the circumstances and will be nice to not have to worry about the dogs until Tim gets back. Now cats .. well they pretty much take care of themselves, split a 20 pound bag of food, put out a couple of extra litter boxes, make sure the waterererer is full, make sure all flat surfaces are cleaned off (cause if not they will be when you get home!:) and they will be happy campers ..
and then there are the parrots. Normally we over feed and water them but this time Barbara, the lady that works at our local animal services, will be coming by to feed them .. so for the first time a trip we take we really really will not have to worry about animals left at home.
You all have a great weekend and hug the person next to you .. go on .. a BIG BIG hug
Just got off the phone with Carole. Her and I are so mad right now, We don’t understand all of this and are both tired as hell. Not knowing is a battle in it self. Then finding out some things start more battles.
When can she move forward. They still need to do a lumber puncture that was to be done today.
Ok let me start from the last post i posted.
Carole is still in the hospital waiting for the lumber puncture so we thought… She was taken down to the room where they were going to do it just to find out they cant do it because of the blood thinners. It will have to be three days after she is off the thinners. Ok fine we can see how Dr can make a little mistake. They still dont know why she is in so much pain and her blood pressure is so high now.
They did the CT today and got the results today and it was with contrast (Carole did not drink to much so they had to violate her to give more) the results suck. As you all know she has tumors on her lungs and liver and brain.
Well today we find out she has more that are getting bigger on her liver , pelvic and Adrenal gland.
We did not know of the tumors on the pelvic or Adrenal gland. The MRI from last week show the ones in the brain are getting smaller and the few in the lungs as well. We are happy about that.
Yesterday the kids and I broke Carole out to see the fire works. No im not playing we left the Hospital for a while Carole had no IV. Carole had Dakota on her lap I was pushing the wheelchair, Joshua, Chloe and Tiffani were running with me to get to a place we all could see some fire works.
We tried the top of parking but no can do. So we went to the street and started looking up and walking we found a parking lot. We went to the top floor it was called Ben Toub I thank. When we got up we saw another family trying to see the fireworks.
Then Tiffani yelled there i see them, Then Chloe said no over their, Joshua (said ) THEIR. We saw alot of places doing fireworks. But at this time we did not see the biggest show, Till Dakota said WOW did you see that was red my favorite. So our family Did get to be together for the 4 th. We sat and watched for a long time and then started back to the hospital the kids were all playing and running. Carole said she had a great time so did we all.
Jimmie
‘and’ in this case well no news is just that, no news. With the holiday they postponed the spinal tap until this week. Might be today, might be tomorrow … oh who knows you know how hospitals are.
I talked to Carole and Jimmie both this past weekend. Will let Jimmie post later (hmmmm wonder if he has pictures) but wanted to jump in and let you all know that Carole is ok (well you know), Jimmie and the kids are ok .. just waiting waiting tis all for now.
Ok Carole is doing better right now, She has been sitting up the whole time the kids and I were with her today. Her head is not hurting right now due to a different drug they gave her. She did her MRI but it will not get read tell in the morning. Then we should know what is going on I hope. I will give more detail when we find out what is going on…
Jimmie
that old saying of “no news, is good news” is not always true.
I am going to start this and then let Jimmie post or add to it anything that may be different or to expand on it.
Jimmie took Carole to MD Anderson again yesterday (Tuesday) morning for another blood transfusion. This time Dakota went with them as the one the other day went ok .. very very long .. but ok.
This time .. not so much:( Carole’s blood pressure shot up to 198 over 120 .. Carole has normally very very low Blood pressure (Tis why she can have so many things going on around her and she stays calm:) so this is pretty bad. She was in ER all night so Jimmie and Dakota got a room in the placed attached to MDA.
They have decided to admit Carole and do a lumbar puncture to test for microscopic tumors in her spinal fluid …if that is the case then the Bio-chemotherapy is not working.
For now we will leave it at that and let you all know what we know when or shortly after anything is known. As always if anything is missed here or wrong then Jimmie can fix it down the road.
Ok Monday morning. Cant sleep, Last night Carole had to have a blood and platelets transfusion. It took 13 hours. So Carole and I came home and slept tell 2pm. Thank you kids for taking care of each other. We needed it. She is doing fine now. She was awake during dinner with all of us, She did not eat but it was nice for us all to eat and talk it kind of felt normal. Have not had that for a while. She will go for her 3 rd treatment on 7-15. Sherrie should be here then, Carole seen it on her appt page and got happy. So I hope with Sherrie here Carole will never be alone in the hospital. And maybe some good food gets cooked for dinner ( hint hint). Anyways am going to bed now just a little update. O ya please remember to hug your better half and let them know what they mean to you! Even if….. Cause you never know nite
Jimmie
Well Carole, Dakota and I got home last night around 8. We sat and talked for a few min then Carole went to lay down we started her IV and she was out. She got up a few times to use the restroom. She is still asleep right now will check on her in a min. She is feeling a little different this round they found out she has a allergy to Heparin flush. They did stop 2 of the drugs sooner then should of because of her platelets being lower then they should of been because of the allergy. The treatment should work she had the drugs more then not. We did get the mutation it is BRAF. There is a clinical trail going on with a Mutant- Braf Inhibitor showing good results so far. Carole as of now will stay on chemo treatment unless there has been no improvement. She has a great team of Drs. So this is just a little update I will update more later after i pick up Chloe and Tiffani from church camp today at 5. I miss them so much cant wait…
Jimmie
Today:) Even though this round of BioChemotherapy hit Carole harder and faster this time around .. she really does sound great today .. AND she would also like to show you that she looks wonderful too .. a little (ok lot!) swollen .. but wonderful none the less
First ya have to know that Carole doesn’t like hair .. no no no:) as in hair that just seems to be all over every where as her’s was. So she did something about it!
LOL I am still laughing!
and then there is
ever heard how sometimes people start to look like each other:)
and last but not least,
“Mommy now you have the same color as me”
We hope you got a little chuckle from the newest pictures .. sometimes you just have to stop and laugh.
Hug everyone
Ok Carole has started feeling the effects of chemo, She is sick. I picked up Chloe and left Tiffani. So Tonight it is Joshua, Chloe, Dakota and myself at home. We will go back in the morning. Im just so glad it is summer time so Carole is not alone. At this point she is out of it but it still feels good knowing someone is there. I need to feed the kids a late dinner, clean up, do 2 loads of laundry and look for a job on line. How do you mothers do it….. So tired. You all have a good nite.
Jimmie
Dakota and I just got home. Chloe, Tiffani and Joshua greeted us with pizza and bread sticks (Mealinda brought over to the house). Wendy is home in AZ right now, She left yesterday from the hospital. Anyways about Carole When we saw her Dr yesterday he informed us that 4 more spots are on the brain, One on the back near the spine, ( could be contaminating the fluid ). One on the right middle and two very small spots on the edge of the brain. The 2 spots they did gamma knife on look great no more spot on the left and bed of tumor. It scared him he had only the MRI from 2 days ago to look at, He needed the first MRI that was done at Memorial Hermann when Carole first had her seizure. The Dr and his team tried to get it but it would be 2 weeks. So we rushed to Memorial Hermann but the records office was closed. When we got up this morning we went to MH and got the records, Went to MD and waited for them to read it. Her Dr was off today they told us as we gave them the CDs. We waited for a few minutes and a nurse came out and took us to a room and said the dr will see you in a min, It was Carole’s Dr he said he was waiting for the records, he looked at them and all 4 spots are on the first MRI. DO NOT cry yet finish reading first, They are on the first MRI which sucks but on the 2nd MRI they are smaller and he says they could be blood vessels. Might not be tumors. He wants to start 2nd round hopping the first round helped. I know my detail is little but I’m trying. I am going to bed now just got off phone with Carole they have started all 5 drugs now. All 4 of the kids and I are going to spend the day with her tomorrow and Chloe is spending the night. Good nite
Jimmie
Carole, Jimmie and the kids (except Joshua) spent most of the day at MD Anderson. You all read that an MRI was done yesterday. This is done before treatment and then at the end of each treatment. This way they have a ‘map’ of the brain to keep up with what is going on.
Since Carole left MD Anderson on the May 27th there are 2 to 4 more brain tumors. They know there are 2 but will have to watch (or retest ?) and see whether the other 2 are tumors or not. they may do another MRI . . I have no clue and Carole or Jimmie will have to tell us.
1 of the 2 known tumors is at the base of the brain at the spinal cord. Carole is going to have to have a spinal tap to see if there are tumors in the Spinal column. Today it was mentioned that whole brain radiation may have to be done …
We promised from the start that we would always be as honest as we could be with all of you our friends and family When it comes to Carole and what is happening when we know anything at all tomorrow /today .. time zones .. all too confusing for me right now .. someone will post.
As always if anything is wrong here or not addressed then Jimmie or Carole can fix it ..
Love, hugs, and tears
Well yesterday we went to MD Anderson, Carole had her MRI done and blood work. Today at 830 am she has a line put in and at 330 we see the Dr. We pray that the last treatment worked. She will be in the hospital for a week with round 2. Carole and I took our children to church last Sunday. We all had a great time. The visit with sister going good. I will try and post at the hospital as soon as we find out anything. Hug someone you love and have a great day
James
Posted by Carole
Well Miss Wendy has been in Texas for 48 hours and had a run in with “THE LAW” . My daughter Tiffani who is 12 had a run in with another little 12 year old and Aunt Wendy tried to solve the problem with the 20 year old older sister and the police came out to the house. But we could prove that we had done the right thing and had my daughters number changed way earlier in the day and that we were not the ones causing problems. They decided not to take Wendy to Jail. Even though the other girls older sister said Wendy was making threats…. we could prove differently. The officer even tried to arrest Jimmie once cause he said that he was obstructing justice by not telling him exactly where Wendy was at… I stepped between them and told him there is no way he was arresting him cause he didn’t do a dang thing wrong ( OMG the officer listened to me. ) Besides the entire time the Officer was standing outside of my house the older sister kept driving back and forth in front of my house and the officer said it is a public street and he could not do anything about it… UUUGGG I wanted to slap the sister of the girl that had been giving my daughter so much trouble and then made crap up and almost got my husband and sister arrested. BOY that would have been a mess:)
Wendy (Carole’s little sister) is visiting for a little while. Yesterday was good I hear:)
A day for the kids and Aunt Wendy playing with makeup and dress up you are never too old for that.
Miss Chloe sent me this picture last night while they were all making Wendy’s world famous taco’s .. YUMMY!!!
Chloe Aunt Wendy Tiffani
One thing about it .. with a phone is the girls hands I always get lots of great pictures from them:) and since they have started using mirrors to help .. well they are even better:) lol
LOVE YOU !!
I thought I would let everyone know that Miss Wendy May Day is in Texas with Carole and family for about a week .. a little longer I think. maybe if I wish really hard and send out a cuddle ‘bear’ hug we can get a group photo of everyone for you:)
I was thinking tonight…..WOW I know thinking that one is a biggy right now I know but in any case. I thought it was important to go over the basics with y’all again and show you the pic of the mole that started this big mess one more time.
Asymmetry
Unequal or asymmetric moles are suspicious.
Border
If the mole’s border is irregular, notched, scalloped, or indistinct, it is more likely to be cancerous (or precancerous) and is thus suspicious.
Color
Variation of color (e.g., more than one color or shade) within a mole is a suspicious finding. Different shades of browns, blues, reds, whites, and blacks are all concerning.
Diameter
Any mole that has a diameter larger than a pencil’s eraser in size (> 6 mm) should be considered suspicious.
Elevation
If a mole is elevated, or raised from of the skin, it should be considered suspicious.
I know that my Mom has told all of you the importance of getting your moles and skin checked but NO REALLY you need too.
Ok I sat down to write to all of you wonderful people who have been so kind and sent all of your thoughts, prayers, kisses and hugs to my family and found myself lecturing about this preventable stage of cancer.
I love you all and thank you all so much for you thoughts, prayers, kisses and hugs:)
Hmm N-laws coming , Im so happy when I say N-laws. We lived with mom and Tim for a year they know how the kids are and know how Carole and I want them raised. They support us in every way when it comes to the kids. I am doing good right now, Its been a fun few days with Carole, She is up way more often and doing more around the house, Its almost like normal. I get to get things done around the yard. Comcast is still beating around the bush, HR has not got back to me on my transfer to Houston, I called and sent e-mails to all my contacts in comcast. Time is running out I have tell the 19th on leave. Well things are good right now I will enjoy every minute with my wife and worry about the little things later…… Like mom says hug someone you love and enjoy it..
Jimmie
I have changed the photo’s out in the slide show so be sure to hit refresh when you visit the site .. if you see the yellow & black ‘fight for my life’ banner in the slide show then you are up to date for now.
Here it’s 12:34 in the morning as I start writing this. The family is getting ready in many different homes.
Carole’s home is getting ready for momma to go back into the hospital for her second round of Bio-chemotherapy. It’s sad that she is feeling better in some area’s, not so great in others:( and it’s time to go back in. Miss Tiffani is keeping momma’s toes painted pretty and Miss Chloe helps her fix her hair. The kids and mom and dad have been having lots of talks I am sure as ‘this’ is hitting even closer to home now.
On Tuesday morning I was at the doctors with Tim (that’s another story!) .. well I had seen a lady in probably her early 40’s .. she was dressed very beachy, capri’s, cute little top. scarf, white wide brimmed hat, sandals .. and I thought how great she looked, loved the scarf and hat! Then just as she shut her car door I realized that she didn’t have any hair! Later in the afternoon I was getting ready to call Carole and tell her how great the lady looked .. when my phone rang .. it was Carole .. she has started to lose her hair. She is prepared physically with beautiful scarves from Rhonda and a Pretty wig from Angie .. but mentally, well it’s a little tough to see more than just a few daily strands that we all lose. We have learned over the years that “if you can’t laugh about something that you end up crying” .. so there have been a few laughs .. like Jimmie teasing about having several wives, a blonde, a red head, short, long .. wigs. There have been a few tears too ..
Wendy is getting ready to hop on a plane on the 13th to visit Carole and family until I think she said the 23rd might be the 21st, but she will be able to spend a while in Texas. They are all looking forward to the visit .. Wendy’s kids aren’t going out this time, just couldn’t swing it .. but maybe a little down the road.
I am working as hard as I can to get the ‘project’ .. oh heck just say it, everyone knows it! I am trying to get the May (yes that isn’t a misprint .. MAY) EMSI done so i can finish packing up what I will be taking with me. Plus packing up my whole sewing room and many other parts of the house so Tim only has to worry about him and the animals while I am gone. If he can get a job in Texas then that makes moving easier too. I will be felting a little forever friend and hopefully be making patterns for Ellowyne and Leeann .. what a concept right! Of course these are things that will be done when done with house work and things … going to try and give Jimmie a bit of a break when I can too.
Hug someone you love .. and if they let you do it once .. then take advantage and hug them again
Its 130 am and I can not sleep. Every time I close my eyes I thank something is wrong, My mind just wont stop working. Is she ok, whats going to happen next, I have been praying or talking to god I know he is listening. The Bishop from the church came by today. All 6 of us were home Chloe signed to Joshua as they blessed Carole. The kids are doing good, Dakota is hanging on to mom a little more, Still knows to ask dad for stuff. Tries to have mom get up and get milk, when mom says no he yells DAD GET ME MILK. Well im getting tired now maybe I will fall asleep. I hope everyone well and have a good day.
Night
Jimmie
Well today was a little better I guess. Carole was asleep most the day except for the 15000 times she says she got up to get sick. It was only like 14999 I told her. Slowly she is getting back to herself. I tried to catch up on some things around the house and outside. Got the mower fixed. I am trying to transfer to a new position with Comcast in Houston, I need to keep our insurance. I don’t thank she could get coverage starting new. I’m worried, tired and alone. I am used to Carole and me talking all the time, sometimes we would sit and watch a movie or just sit and drink a nice cup of coffee . Ya Ive had coffee but its the nice part i have not had. Well Her and the little ones are in bed, I better get there myself, You all have a good night I will talk to you all soon.
Nite Jimmie
3pm eastern time
Jimmie called a little while ago .. they are on their way to MD Anderson . Carole’s doctor wants to see her. They think there may be something wrong with her kidneys .. we are not sure and neither are they until he see’s Carole .. it may be several hours before this is updated with what is happening. Tiffani and Dakato are with Daddy and Mommy .. Chloe & Joshua are with friends and family.
I will let you all know anything and everything as soon as I know!
update .. it’s about 11pm here in Georgia and they are leaving the hospital .. Jimmie can explain much better than I can. Carole is feeling better as of right now .. they did up her pain meds to delaudid (spelling) this is the same stuff they were giving her in the hospital right after the first major brain surgery but that was in shot form. One of shots that they gave Carole before she left MD Anderson after her first set of bio-chemotherapy causes major physical pain (no one told them that) .. then on top of a nurse not telling her to start one of the drugs she was supposed to home at home caused it to be even worse and her blood totals to come back bad .. really really bad .. they were lower than low. So both things combined caused her to be in much worse shape. Of course we all know and so does Carole that she will not be in great shape after the therapy but this was worse than it should have been … BUT from now on they all know a little more about what has to been done.
So for now they are all headed home .. Jimmie can fill in any gaps or correct anything I may have wrong when he has a chance to get on in the next few days.
I thought I would post this so that those who read daily will know that Carole is home from the hospital again. I do not know all of the details so will let Jimmie update later when he has a chance, but wanted you to know that she is home again
They are doing a CT to check for swelling on the brain will let everyone know in a while what’s up. Sometimes this happens after having the gamma knife radiation surgery.
Carole is dehydrated because she can’t keep anything down at all. She is and has been in a lot of pain since returning home and hasn’t been able to eat or drink anything for several days.
we will update here as time goes by or call .. which ever I need to do ..
Carole is asleep, She is very tired. Im trying to get her to drink some fluids she is very Nausea and has a headache. All this is what is expected after therapy. She does stay awake a little more each time she wakes up. Will update more in a while, I turned her phone off for today. If you need to call call the house phone or my cell.
Jimmie
We made it home lastnight around 9 pm, The girls were sitting up waiting. As we pulled up they ran out of the house to mom and gave her a great big hug. At that moment, I thought we have to beat this they need mom, I have taken care of them for the past 5 days and anyone could do it. But no one can be mom. Carole Dakota and I went to Cleveland so she could get lab work done, After we did that we started driving home and Carole fell asleep. She woke up walked into the house and went to the room to lay back down. Dakota and I are sitting waiting for Chloe and Tiffani, Tiffani just walked in and now Chloe. Im sure Carole has some words she would like to say to you all. I will talk to you all later.
Jimmie
Jimmie mentioned below about being tough … This is a video that we all watch or listen to all the time now. Carole is tough … watch and listen
there will a little commercial first and then the video
Carole . is in great hands the Nurses and NAs are the best I have ever seen, And yes I have seen a few. They are treating Carole great, Doing what ever is possible to help her. Some things are only a smile and a it will be ok but they are doing great. Carole is sick very sick, We have been together for 16 years and I have never seen Carole so sick. I did not want to leave her tonight she has done so much for me over the years when I thought I was sick or in pain. It was nothing like this. The only reason I came home and left her was because Carole and I have talk about this and everyone that knows us knows the kids come first. I want to thank everyone for your prayers and support. We have a long way to go, And Carole has a hard fight on her hands, To end this all I can say is Im doing everything at home she does when she is not getting every cell in her body kicked around and I have taken so much of her for granted. That song I thought I was tough fits…… You all have a goodnight
posted by Sherrie Jo
I didn’t write with an update on day 2 of Carole’s Bio-chemotherapy because it was just too hard .. today too for that matter. But I had several emails in my inbox asking how Carole was doing … so here I am.
She is sick .. the drugs are making her very very sick inside and out. Carole is in very good hands and they have her on constant watch and monitoring everything. Because of school tomorrow there isn’t anyone staying with her tonight except the nurses. I talked to her several time yesterday and today, it’s very hard to describe what it’s like .. except it hurts to hear her hurting so bad.
We all knew from the start that this would be a very aggressive procedure .. the only way that Carole will be able to make it into a clinical trial is to make sure that there is that can grow in her brain and this is the only way to do it.
After the girls go to school in the morning then Daddy and Dakota will be going down to spend the day with momma.
There will be no more pictures until less Carole decides to send one in .. so it may be a few days .. only time will tell.
I talked to Carole for along time tonight. She was waiting for her anti seizure meds (has to take them for the next 5 months {now}).
Have we said? .. have your read? .. have you checked into how important it is to get spots checked out??
Carole was pretty sick most of the day .. what they are doing is called Bio Chemotherapy. It is a 5 drug mix of some pretty aggressive drugs .. but then with Stage 4 Metastasized Melanoma you have to be very aggressive. Her blood pressure dropped to 82 over 52 earlier today so they are really watching her and giving her something in the hopes that doesn’t happen again.
Have we said? .. have you read? .. have you checked into the free Melanoma screenings there are this month? Did I mention that May is Melanoma awareness month?
I have the list here of what the doctors are giving her but it isn’t at my finger tips so will just list the ones I know for now .. Interferon, Interleukin2, I will add the others later or Jimmie can jump in here and edit this post to add them.
Have you made your date with the dermatologist? Have you set up a time to get a free screening? Have you read This blog yet? Do you know how important that spot may really be?
Jimmie is home tonight with all the kids (oh and so you know, the girls had spent the night at their aunt Mealinda’s and uncles Jon’s house last night when Jimmie and Dakota stayed with mom .. not sure I said that before) . They are planning for a big sleep over with Mommie Saturday night.
Carole said she looks like she is sunburned … her skin is really red, one of the other side effects of the drugs. When Jimmie got home he read the comments to Carole from today, thank you everyone who has commented the last few days .. Carole has been read everyone of them.
J in CA … THANK YOU you have read, you have heard whats been said .. doing it early .. SOOOO much better than doing it late:(
Sleep well tonight Carole .. we love you
It was late tonight when Jimmie called and said they were done and that him, Dakota and Carole were going to go eat and then finish with admissions. Carole was really really sore:( first the portacath being put in and all it entails and then the stress test.
She had to do the stress test on the bike because the drug they give while doing it can cause seizures .. been a couple 2 too many of those already! So bike it was. 12 minutes!! as fast and as hard as you can, they couldn’t get her heart rate above 145 .. no matter what they said she couldn’t push any more:( and she had to get to 150 or the whole thing would have been for nothing. Her legs were jello, she couldn’t breathe .. it was bad:( so one of the nurses called for the doctor and he came into the room (they are normally very close if not right there) .. he checked things out and told her she had to go just a little harder but she had nothing else to give. But he pushed her a couple of more times and got her heart races within seconds .. and poof she was done!:)
She had a really hard time coming down and couldn’t breathe at all .. couldn’t catch her breath. One of the nurses sat and held her hand and wouldn’t leave her side until she was breathing well again … stress tests .. they are not so fun:(
OK now to the room .. she is in P1007 and Jimmie and Dakota are going to spend the night with her tonight. She is very very scared but with her oldest and youngest men with her then at least a little fear will be put to the side .. at least till morning.
Dakota of course took the bed .. he always does:) lol
But then he found out this bed was pretty cool too just need some nice cools sheets and a pillow or two:)
Carole and Dakota send good night Thank you’s and I love you’s
Posted by Sherrie Jo
It’s Thursday the 20th .. Carole has been to so many appointments everyday for the last 2 weeks .. Except the 18th ..
Carole will be having a port-a-cath put in. Carole has tiny veins that roll .. so hard to find:( She was SOOOOOOO bruised up when she can home from the hospital and a few more bruises from tests after home. I pray they get it in and all goes well. Once again I am sitting here staring at the phone. Ya would think that with all I have to do and what I have to finish before going to Texas that that is what I would be working on … I am of course, but it just isn’t going as fast as you would think it would.
Carole will also be admitted today at MD Anderson. I am not sure if she starts therapy today or tomorrow so will let Jimmie post later or I will.
THANK YOU!!!!!!! so much for your prayers and thoughts. Jimmie receives them on his phone every time one is posted here on the blog and he reads them to Carole .. so even if you just drop in and say “Howdy ” that is great:)
Hugs and tears .. hug someone you love today .. life changes in the blink of an eye
UPDATE .. just as I finished posting this message Jimmie text-ed me. It is in. Carole is a little dizzy and they have to wait 2 hours then they will do an x-ray to make sure all is well with it. There is a slight chance that a lung can be punctured so they need to make sure that didn’t happen. I had 2 pictures but am using this one .. not sure Carole would want her bare shoulder/chest put out there for all to see:) She tends to roll her eyes at me enough .. heck I don’t need to do something on purpose for it:) lol
that line probably earned me one anyway:)
I LOVE YOU CAROLE!
‘nother update .. it’s 5:17 pm in Texas and Carole is still not done .. but me thinks poor Dakota is.
Hello everyone. This is just a little update on the family. Today was Dakota’s birthday, We had a little family get together.
We all had a good time. I will try and update more then I have been. Well lots of thanks and Love.
Jimmie
Posted by Sherrie Jo
Please place your prayers and thoughts here for Carole .. she starts the Chemical Therapy this week and I think she really needs to know that prayers and thought are still going up for her, the kids and Jimmie.
Posted by Sherrie Jo
Today is Carole’s only day off from doctors, and hospitals .. darn good thing too because it is Dakota’s 5th.
Enjoy little man .. WE LOVE YOU!! he he he I can hear it now:)
Grandma & Grandpa
posted by~Sherrie Jo
A couple of days ago shortly after Carole posted, the blog went down .. broken beyond my repair. This on top of everything else hurt so bad because it was the first time that Carole had posted.
I tried everything I knew of and everything that people on the wordpress forum suggested .. nothing would work for me. Then a very special man came along, he goes by macmanx and all I can say is he is a wizard .. Thank you so so much!!
posted by~Carole
It would have probably been easier to start writing on this blog a few weeks ago. I felt fine certainly not like I had CANCER, no not me. I’m fine I am healthy I eat amazing healthy foods because I have learned about my Celiac Disease and the way my body reacts to gluten. I did my reading and got it all under control. I felt WONDERFUL.
I kept up with my plans that over the summer I wanted to move from Georgia back to Texas and get the kids back to good old small town livin… In February my Husband Jimmie was put on workman’s comp because of an injury. I started thinking we should go to Texas sooner. We began looking for a house back in small town America. 1 Grocery Store, 1 blinking 4 way stop light. Population 2000. So many people kept asking why Shepherd why why why. But I love it here. Jimmie flew in and found us a big house on a hill with a fenced back house 4 bedroom 3 bath BEAUTIFUL. Perfect we said yes we want it, and I started packing. They said it would be ready the first week in April. My Parents, Husband, Kids and my Friends all said ” I think it would be best to wait till the end of May ” Nothing or Nobody was going to chance my mind I was ready and it was time to leave Georgia.
I can’t even begin to tell you how glad I am that I am so stinkin stubborn and bull headed. All those time when I was a teenager and someone would call me a B**** and I would say yep and proud of it only made me stronger and more stubborn. I think I am pretty easy to get along with, But if I want something I will go after it until I have it. I have fought for everything that I have in my live and nothing has ever been handed to me on a silver platter.
We arrived in Texas just in time. We had only been in the state for 4 days when I had my seizures. Boy was that scary. I can’t even imagine the terror Jimmie felt when he came around the corner and found me lying on the floor, completely unresponsive. Now stop for a minute and thing if you heard a noise in the other room and you thought oh man what did the cat, dog or whatever knock over now, and you go around the corner to find someone that you love more than anything lying on the floor face down not moving, not responding what do you do at that exact moment when your heart has fallen all the way down to the tips of your toes….. Think about it
I was taken to the local hospital and then to the best team of doctors anyone could ask for. I only remember waking up a few times. I was so so so scared every time that I woke up. I went from being the ROCK of the family to lying in a hospital bed and had absolutely no idea why, what, when or how. That is scary. I remember a little about being told about the tumor and I remember being told that my Mom was boarding the plane and would be there in the morning. I did not remember moving so I could not wrap my mind around why my Mom was getting on a plane. I remember my Strong Husband and My Beautiful Children all trying not to cry and being strong for Mommy. I kept thinking ” Tumor no that’s impossible, there is no way I have a tumor…” ” Seizure are you kidding me I don’t have anything wrong with me” Why am I having surgery again and no one could hear me, I could not get my words to come out to ask all my millions of questions.
Well today is one month since the surgery to have the tumor removed. I have asked my millions of questions and more and I have decided that I don’t like the freakin answers. I know that I am absolutely in the best place to be treated for cancer but I have also found out that there is no cure for Stage 4 metastasized melanoma. I am scared to death. Everyone has told me ” You can beat this Carole, You are soooo strong, You can do this” I feel like that is so easy for everyone to say. The doctors have been doing this a long long time and they told me yesterday that I only have about a 10% chance of living another 5 years. I have it in my mind that I will win, I will beat this. But as God knows I am scared real real scared. But I WILL BEAT THIS CANCER.
I want to thank all of you that made the donations to me by purchasing my Moms patterns a couple of weeks ago. This has been very financially draining driving back and forth and paying for all the parking fees, Right after moving a few states…UGGG. I was able to fill up the van and pay a couple of parking fees for the doctor visits.
posted by~Jimmie
Good morning everyone. Thanks for the prayers, Chloe and Tiffani are getting ready for school. Dakota is cuddling with mom in bed. Joshua called last night just to say hi to mom. That made Carole happy, Her and I had three moments we started to fight over little stuff, We ended up just hugging and crying. We have been though a lot in our lives, This might be the hardest. But we will beat this thing. Thank you all for the support. Will talk more later
posted by~Sherrie Jo
I have been trying to figure out how to put into words the news that Carole called me with today… I can’t .. I get mad, I get sad, I punch a wall .. ok too old to do that very often so will leave that to the men. Slap the counter, cat will probably not jump up there agian, at least not if he see’s I am upset. Yelled at Tim .. sure and glad he loves me. Yelled at God .. ok really glad he loves me too because I wasn’t very nice about it:( I just want to shout at the top of my lungs “IT’S NOT RIGHT!” wait let me rephrase that .. I DID shout at the top of my lungs …. she has 4 kids living at home (Dakota will be 5 next week, Tiffani is 12, Chloe 14 and Joshua 17) .. she is the best mother I know, she does absolutely everything in her life for her kids, she always has .. even what she is about to go through with the chemical therapy .. tis not for her .. is for the kids.
Carole is so scared … and no matter how old she is, I want to hold her and I am too far away to do that.
From here on out on this blog you may cry with us, you may laugh with us, chuckle, giggle and sigh .. but one thing is certain .. we will keep up this blog so you will be able to stay in touch with Carole through her fight. She (and her family) need all the prayers they can get .. this is very draining, both of the body and the pocket book as you can well imagine.
Several things came out of today’s appointment .. Carole or Jimmie can post the details when either of them feel up to it. But I can tell you that what we prayed for .. a clinical trial, will not happen. Because 2 tumors have already metastasized in her brain then she doesn’t qualify for a trial. So they will be starting a 4 to 5 drug treatment this week. I say 4 or 5 drug because Carole was diagnosed with Celiac disease earlier this year so the doctors have to find out if one of the drugs will do more harm than good .. time will tell. There will be 4 treatments to start … 7 days of the treatment and then 3 weeks off, 4 times .. then a head to toe CT (pooh! she may have said MRI now I am no sure) Carole and Jimmie were also told today that it has absolutely ran through her lymph nodes … it could not be in her liver, her lungs or her blood without hitting the lymph nodes too. Just none of them are enlarged right now ..
May is National Melanoma Awareness month .. if you have a site you are not sure about .. have a scaly spot in your hair that now and then bleeds, or maybe gets scaly or flaky .. so something about it!! There are many many free clinic going on all over the USA for Melanoma Awareness .. find one even if you have to drive an hour or two, because you just never know ..
Say this with me STAGE FOUR METASTASIZED MELANOMA .. we all know that Cancer is a dirty ugly scary word .. say it! Cancer … it is a freaken’ scary ugly word! Now say this .. Yes Carole for you, for my kids, for myself I will go get checked out! please!!
This is the site on Carole that caused the brain cancer, the liver cancer, the lung cancer
cancer in the blood .. this little tiny spot on her head. It is 100% confirmed
posted by~Sherrie Jo
Today is Carole’s appointment with MD Anderson in Houston. I am trying to wait patiently but as I just told Jimmie I am failing miserably. So I sit here trying to finish up one of my late projects and even though I know I haven’ t missed their phone call I keep picking up the phone and checking …
Either I, or Jimmie or Carole will update later … I gave Jimmie and Carole both author privileges so they can posting anything that they want to update about. ok back to waiting for me.
Jimmie said,
I have a update….
Carole did the gamma knife last week it all went good. Now its mothers day and she is feeling better. We ( kids and I ) took her out to dinner. She is in good spirits right now. We will not know anything for 3 months on the gamma knife if it helped or not. On the 13 we go to MD Anderson in Houston to talk with them about a treatment plan. They thank it started on a mole on the side of her head. Please people if you are not sure what skin cancer looks like please find out, and go for screenings even you guys. I will update later
***note from administrator .. this comment was left under “Carole’s fight .. the beginning” I left it there but also put it here so you can be sure and see Jimmie’s or Carole’s note from them ***
posted by~Sherrie Jo
If you are new to reading Carole’s fight then please scroll down and start with “Carole’s fight .. the beginning”
****************
I realized a few days ago that so many people think “Oh skin cancer then she will be alright’ .. not so much:( Melanoma is a skin cancer .. but is not just skin cancer and now is Stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma. May is Melanoma Awareness month
The doctors found another tumor .. this one is much smaller and in the back left region of her brain. It was in the Alphabet/math region and a lot small (around 3 mm) so they decided to use Gamma Knife Radiation. On May the 5th Carole had the procedure. We had all thought it would be fairly ’simple’ .. not so much:( The thing that they used to stablize her head actually had to be screwed in through her skin to be tight against the skull. 4 screws:( 2 on her forehead to the side of hers eyes and 2 on the back of her head ..
Before Carole had this new surgery she was down to 2 pain pills a day .. one to get her through the day and 1 to get her through the night. She is now back up to 2 every 3 hours:( The pain from where the screws went through her skin is one pain and the pressure from the head brace is another:( The doctor radiated the new tumor and also the bed from where the first much larger tumor was removed earlier.
We also found out that the cancer is in Carole’s blood stream but so far not in her lymph nodes .. if you can smile about one thing in all of this .. right now, right this minute .. we are SO happy that her lymph nodes have no been affected.
We still do not know if there will be a clinical trial for Carole ..
Carole also had her dermatologist appointment this last week .. they found 2 more spots, one on her leg and one on her back. But they are 95% sure that the spreading of the cancer on the inside of her body came from the Melanoma mole on her head … they will find out this week if this is the case.
I will update as we learn more .. thank you all for your prayers and concern for Carole, Jimmie and the kids
posted by~Sherrie Jo
PLEASE NOTE … For those have read this posting on the 29th and 30th what you read is at the bottom of this posting .. I am updating the whole thing from the start of April 7th 2010 to the finish of this posted blog on the 29th ,with dates inserted for family and friends.
APRIL 7th Wednesday 2010 .. Carole, Jimmie and the kids left here at 5 am on Wednesday the 7th on their move back to Texas. I talked to them several times on the move and was really happy for them being able to get back to Jimmies family .. they had only moved here to get back on their feet after being hit so hard by hurricane Ike. Carole was driving their van with 2 of the kids and the animals (Charlie the ferret, Nessie and Dorothy the cats) … Jimmie was driving the rental truck with the other 2 kids. They lived here for a year, a month and 1 day:) The minute they left the house was so so empty .. no really!! it’s empty! :0 lol
APRIL 9th 2010 … They received word on the trip that Jimmies brother had a heart attack so the kids headed into Houston to see them before heading to Shepherd. They arrived at their new home on Friday and had everything unpacked and the truck back to the rental place Saturday afternoon. They were so so happy .. the house was so big and each grandchild had a room of their own!
APRIL 11th 2010 .. I talked to Carole and texted the grand kids several times over the weekend .. turns out the girls ended up having to share a room for a few days as Tiffani’s room didn’t have any carpet in it! (it does now though:0
APRIL the 12th Monday 2010 … Carole and I talked and texted many times .. She had enrolled the girls in school and took
Dakota to the doctor .. poor guy had an ear infection in each ear. She picked up his meds and went back home.
April the 13th 2010 at 12:15am Tim’s cell phone rang (we were in bed) he couldn’t get it answered in time but said it was from Carole. I got up and went and got my cell phone .. 2 missed calls from Jimmie (Carole’s husband) .. I called Carole’s number and Jimmie answered the phone, he was crying and hard to understand. “Ok first she is ok but she is in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. It took a couple of times for me to understand that it was Carole and that she had had a seizure. Jimmie heard a strange noise and went looking for what it was and found her laying on the dinning room floor (no furniture in the room yet thank goodness!) He yelled for Chloe (14) to call 911 … they had only been there 3 days and she didn’t even know the address yet:( She was able to give them landmarks and tell them where they lived though:) Jimmie’s sister in law came down (they live down the street) and helped until the EMT’s arrived.
She was taken to Cleveland Hospital and had another seizure while there .. they started her on anti Seizure meds and ran a CT. While they were there and Jimmie was phoning me all the time with what was happening Tim and I were researching what could cause seizures out of the blue. We found a lot .. the worst being a brain tumor. Not even in our wildest nightmares did we think that that would be the cause.
Around 3am Jimmie called and said that they found what they thought was a tumor on the CT scan in the right front lobe of her brain and they were going to transfer her to Memorial Hermann in Houston. They arrived there about 5:30 am …
Tim and I laid back down and tried to rest .. it didn’t go very well so we gave up and started the day. I talked to Carole a few times .. she remembered nothing about moving, the trip, didn’t know where she was and couldn’t figure out why they were in Texas when she was told, enrolling the girls, the doctor visit for Dakota .. nothing of the day:( But she did know all the kids names and knew who Jimmie was.
Early Tuesday Afternoon .. An MRI was done in Houston and it was decided that the tumor had to come out so surgery was scheduled for early Wednesday morning. The tumor was a little larger than a large purple grape. Everyone helped in getting me an emergency flight out to be there. I left here at 6am and touched down a little after 7am (time change and all that) A friend of the kids picked me up at the airport and took me to the hospital .. I didn’t make it in time to see her before surgery but she did know I was on the way.
NOTE .. I found out after arriving that Jimmie had thought that everyone but him and Joshua had gone to bed. Their house is set up so one TV is on one side of a wall in the family room and another one is set up on the other side in the living room. Jimmie was playing Joshua on an xbox game .. one of them in each room. When Jimmie heard the strange sound he called out and thought it was Joshua who of course didn’t answer because Joshua is deaf .. at the same time his character from the game also went across the TV screen. That is when Jimmie got up and went to the dinning room (he was actually heading to the kitchen) when he found Carole. It turns out that when Carole took Dakota to bed that Chloe had ask mom to wash a special pair of pants for her for school the next day .. being the mom that she is that is what she was doing .. she had just taken the laundry to the washer and came back through the door into the dinning room. Her computer was there on the buffet and she was checking the Chloe’s myspace account to make sure all was still on the up and up (that is the deal .. mom and dad can check it at any time:) After talking to Carole she remembers doing that and then the next thing she remembers is the hospital. There new house is really large .. if Carole had not done the clothes that night then she would have been in the back bedroom when she had her seizure and not been found for hours:( Chloe has received many many hugs and tears since that day .. those pants saved momma’s life.
by the way .. these are the pants that Miss Chloe needed washed ‘that’ night!
April 14th 2010 … Carole came out of surgery and was in recovery and started yelling for Jimmie and the kids .. just out of brain surgery and she was throwing a fit (their words not mine) for her husband and family. We were all in the waiting room and a nurse ask for the Mott family and led Jimmie back to recovery .. he was able to calm her down and then he was ask to leave. She ask Jimmie at that time if it was cancer .. he told her he didn’t know .. although we already did:( I guess they never let people back there but they couldn’t calm her down at all .. she does love her family of that there is never ever a doubt!
We all moved to NSNCIU and waited to be called back. Jimmie and I went back first. This is really hard for me .. Carole is 36 years old but when she is hurting she is just a little child in my eyes and I want to protect her .. in this case there was nothing I could do except tell her I love her and that we are there for her. She said several times that her head hurt (the nurse was in the process of getting meds ready) and ask again if it was cancer .. this time we told her what we knew. Yes it was cancer but Dr. Kim felt that he got it all. That it was the type of cancer that has spread from somewhere else in the body and they would have to find out where from.
Through the day the family, 2 at a time took turns seeing Carole and sitting with her .. when it was time for the family to go (they had all been there for well over 12 hours) They headed back to Shepherd and I stayed with Carole .. mostly I just watched her sleep and answered all her questions each time she woke up and ask for her meds for her .. she was in so much pain:(
APRIL 15th 2010 … Carole was moved to the stroke/cancer ward of the hospital in the afternoon. I was with her 24 hours a day unless another family member was there or I had to take a walk after she received her heavy pain meds. She was on some really heavy pain shots so we all answered her questions several times .. it was so hard to say it again and again but we knew we had to keep doing this.
We were told that they would be doing another CT and an MRI to find the rest of the cancer. Several doctors came in during different shifts and tested Carole on different things (she still remembers none of this) and let me tell you that she is so smart! even with part of her brain missing!
Afternoon and early evening .. The second set of CT’s and MRI’s were ran of Carole head and torso. this is also when I got lost in the hospital. I went with her to the MRI and the tech told me where the waiting room was .. I couldn’t find it:( I walked and walked (it’s a big huge hospital) then started following the signs for MRI but they were the out patient signs and not the back way signs that the techs take .. a janitor found me and helped me get to the right area (tears and all) and let the CT tech know where I was .. he came and got me and took me to Carole.
APRIL 16th 2010 … Carole was feeling a little better today so I was able to get her up and let her change gowns, I changed her bedding, she brushed her teeth. After all this she was really tired and rested until family can in.
afternoon .. Dr. Khan (head of oncology) came in with the scan reports. They found several spots on her lungs and 2 on her liver .. at this time they are not sure if the spots on her lungs were from the cancer. (they know now .. the 29th .. they are) …
April 17th 2010 .. Carole is released to go home. She is still tired and hurts a lot but she is able to go home as long as someone is with her all the time as there is still a chance of more seizures. At home things are calm and she rests a lot. Jimmie is doing a great job of having her medication set up on a doable schedule and the kids know that mom will need lots of help with the house. On Sunday the 18th I decided that I really wasn’t needed to help as they had it all under control .. so I came back to Georgia on my scheduled day of Tuesday.
NO more news between the 20th and the 27th .. really we were all just waiting to see what the meeting would bring and reading … tis not good reading:( and then after finding out what all it is .. tis really not good to read:(
APRIL 29th 2010
I know that the lists would probably not say anything about this OT subject but I don’t really want to make anyone feel bad about telling me to stop or not .. Ya know!
So here goes … Carole had her big appointment with the Doctors (round table style) on Tuesday the 27th of April .. The kids and Jimmie were there also .. Carole has Stage 4 Metastasized Melanoma. They think all of this is from a place (mole) on her head that was uncovered when they shaved her for surgery. They (her amazing team of doctors as she likes to call them) are sending her to a dermatologist to check every inch of her body to make sure she has no other sites too. Carole was never ever a sun worshiper and she has always made sure that the kids wear sunscreen when they are out … Yet there it is:(
The 7 spots on her lungs are from the melanoma spreading. The 2 spots on her liver (I think I had told Angie Kidney when I first told her .. Please forgive as the mind was a little muddled at the time) are also from the melanoma .. All of these stem from the main site. The doctors told her that she probably has more area’s but since these are the ones showing up on CT’s and MRI’s these are the ones that they are going to attack and any other areas may or may not show up later. They all know that once you are in this stage it is very hard to be ‘cured’ as they tend to come back again and again and show up in new areas.
Before starting anything to attack what they do know about in her body they have to take care of another spot in her brain that the radiologist found while going over her scans:( She will under go Gamma Knife Radiation at 5:30 am next Wednesday.
I will tell you that Carole is in good spirits as long as she doesn’t read anything .. Reading is not good. Once the doctors know that they have everything out of her brain (this one is in the back left portion) then they will try and find her a clinical trial for the rest of what she has .. But if they can’t find one that is in stage 3 of stage 4 Metastasized Melanoma studies then they do not want her to waste her time or life trying them! They will then start a chemotherapy .. Right now they are talking interleikin2 with interferon.
This is all so very scary:( It is a fine line we all walk to let Carole know that we stand beside her and love her and yet to understand how very bad this is:( She worries about the kids the most of course .. Right now she is staying positive and letting Jimmie remember all that has to be done and all of her meds/appointments/house/kids .. He really is doing an amazing job of taking care of her and the kids. One of these days I will put to paper all the things that came together to have Carole in the right place at the right time …
Hugs to you all .. This was a reminder that our world around us can change in a heartbeat .. Hug someone you love
Sherrie
If today was your last day by Nickleback
LIVESTRONG Challenge Cancer Video
Skin-by Rascal Flatts
Skin-song by Rascal Flatts ASL by Susan
Tough by Craig Morgan
What do you say by Reba McEntire
What do you say by Reba McEntire ASL by Susan