Carole's Battle

I dont know what to say. Carole I love you, I have felt pain before but never like this. Its only been 4 days, Im at a loss for words. Carole and I do want to thank everyone for the support. The kids and I went to Dakota game last night, He struck out the first at bat. He looked over where mommy sat someone told me. I almost lost it and cryed so many times. So many people came up to me and said how sorry they were. Carole is loved so much. Some say time will help with some of the pain, I thank they are wrong. Carole Estelle Mott I love you now and forever. I picture you beautiful eyes looking at me, and you saying I love you Jimmie. It puts a smile on my face and sweet feeling in my heart. I miss you

We lost Carole, Our beautiful daughter, wife, mother, momma Carole to so many kids in California, Nevada, Georgia, and Texas, sister, and sister in law, aunt, cousin, niece and last but not least, grandmother .. oh yes she was a grandmother and got to hold and play with the kids a few months ago when Ashley came out to her, on May the 17th 2011.

Carole lived her life with Jimmie and her kids around her .. she also lived the last few days the same.  She was home with them surrounding her every day .. and Jimmie was with her holding her hand and we all know how important that is and was.

Today is Dakota’s Birthday .. her ‘little man’ is 6 years old and we are having cake and will have fun, and probably too many presents .. but you know what, that is what Carole does, everything for the birthday person .. so Carole, as Miss Chloe would say .. we got this, or rather Jimmie does, from the cake, to the gifts all wrapped up by Chelsea .. candles will be lit, the song will be sung and signed and YES he will have a birthday face.

poop .. I knew I couldn’t get through this without the tears ..

ok .. details .. because I have to get them on here Carole is at ..

Neal Funeral Home

205 South Mason Avenue
Cleveland, TX 77327
(281) 592-2341

Viewing for Carole is Sunday the 22nd of May from 2 to 6 pm.  The funeral is 10 am Monday morning.

I am going to put Jimmie’s address here too

Jimmie Mott,  6950 FM 2666 road, Shepherd, Texas 77371

LIVE, LOVE and play, and smile and be nice, and have fun .. and wear something with splashes of color Sunday and Monday for Carole, celebrate  her life, and her love

Jimmie may come in later and post too ..

I needed to call family before this post could be written .. I feel I need to post because one of these days someone is going to run into this page .. they will be scared either for themselves or for someone they love, they will type Metastasized Melanoma into a search because they heard a doctor say it. You will be the mom (me), the husband (Jimmie) .. You will be crying as search everything for anything .. you be reading and reading ..

This site at times had happy smiling faces, photo’s of kids, photo’s of Jimmie and Carole, it had smiles and laughter .. but really what it is is a cry, a pleading for a cure.  This page is made of real everyday people, of a family that fought a battle that others before had fought .. and for a while .. for a brief few weeks we actually thought that Carole would win .. she would be the 2% that make it 5 years after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastasized Melanoma.

SO many things lead Carole, Jimmie and the kids back to Texas .. just an hour away from MD Anderson .. every little thing fell into place so she could be there .. we all thought, we all prayed, since it all came together that she would make it.  She fought, she did everything the doctors said, the surgeries, the chemo’s, the testings, the trials .. the pain, we all knew how bad it could be but we all Know what a fighter Carole is .. when it comes to the kids, to Jimmie .. ya best not get in the way of that momma.  But Cancer doesn’t care, that little tiny spot on her head doesn’t care that she was fighting for her kids, for her family ..

Thousands of people, of friends, of family around the world lit candles, said prayers lifted up Carole’s name this past year .. and we do thank you for that .. those prayers I believe are what kept her family strong, kept Carole fighting.  SO many lose the battle of Metastasized Melanoma within months of finding out .. Carole was given a year .. too short.

I talked to Carole the day before Mothers day .. not for very long really, less than 2 minutes but she was happy, she was giving her niece hugs as she headed off to the prom and greeting Jon and Mealinda as they came in .. she was busy living life and smiling.  I haven’t heard her voice since.

Mother’s day Chloe called me and said momma was really sick and ask her to call … the tears roll down my face .. a couple of days later Jimmie told me that Carole was in bed and hadn’t been up except to be sick for a few days, a couple of days later she didn’t make it to Dakota’s t-ball game and we all know how much she loved those ..

On Saturday Carole had 2 seizures, she was and is at home surrounded by her kids and Jimmie .. 37 years old .. 37 years old and had to make decisions about where she wanted to be when she could no longer fight, 37 years old and in so much pain .. 37 years old doing things that no one that young should have to do.

CANCERS SUCKS!  some day down the road someone will run into this post because they are searching, searchng for that miracle that someone they love needs .. I know, I did, I ran into so many pages that just stopped, no postings after a few months.  You will be reading and reading and reading everything .. a year ago I wrote this and I am going to say it again .. reading is not good, reading about Stage 4 Metasasized Melanoma is scary, and it IS!!   so  I am talking to you right now, that person and this is what I have to say .. LIVE LIFE, LOVE those around you, DO things that make you smile, that make you laugh, FIGHT the fight and get every day out of your life that you can .. tell everyone that you love “I love you” and show it, live it ..and pray .. pray that one day this horrible thing will no longer be around!

I wear a black band that Carole gave me .. it says .. SAY it, FIGHT it, CURE it   .. yes Cancer Sucks!

Remember .. the world around you can change in a heartbeat .. ours did .. on April the 12th 2010, the world changed.

This is what Jimmie posted on facebook Yesterday ..

Carole is going fast. Please pray for the kids and her. All who are friends and family please know Carole is in no pain right now. The nurse is doing a great job keeping her pain free. The kids try and talk to Carole and I know Carole tries to respond.

Carole is still fighting ..

I love you Carole, I will see you Tuesday, Mom

Joshua, Dakota, Tiffani, Chloe

“We love you Mom and Dad”  April 9th, 2011

What can I say. It has had its up and downs. We have had our good days and bad ones too. We have cried happy tears and sad tears and just because ones too. Most people know how we got together but for the ones who dont know I will sum it up. The very first time I seen Carole she was working for her grandmother and mother at a security co. I had worked for them for a while. I was with Lisa my x, I had quit my job so Lisa and I could move to Texas. I stoped by the office to pick up my last check and that is when I seen her for the first time, I had my daughter in my arms, I seen Caroles eyes they had a sparkle in them. I knew at that moment there was something their but not like that.  A few months past and some how Carole and I were together. She Had Joshua he was 8 months old. We got married in Reno Nv on May 12 1996 mothers day. On that day I seen the same eyes with a sparkle. I knew at that moment there was something their but not like that. All 14 .5 years past I seen that sparkle in her eyes and right now as she is fighting for her life I see her in so much pain she looks up at me and cries  it hurts so bad my head hurts, I tell her I cant give her no more medicine  I hold her hand and pray to god to please take her pain away and look in her eyes and see that sparkle and I know at that moment its like that. I cant take the pain away from her. I can just sit and cry. Tell her its going to be ok. Every day it gets harder ,This sucks bad. I hate this so much.

I am home again in Georgia.  I had told the kids (Carole and Jimmie) that I could stay longer if they need me to but they both felt that they really needed to have time to really talk to the kids … the worst news ever came right after I got there and they really were not able to really talk to the kids.

So I came home … well either that or they were tired of me! just kidding:)

All the way home and then even the last few days here I just keep thinking how strong Carole is .. the pain that she is in from her arm and she just keeps going!  The pain her heart feels for Jimmie and the kids .. and she just keeps going, not sure I could, really not.   I saw her cry from pain, from physical pain, from emotional pain .. but not one time did I see her cry in front of the kids .. I can’t say that though .. good lord a kid would look at me and I would break down .. but we had our laughs too.

Carole enjoys going to Dakota’s t-ball games, hasn’t missed one yet .. no matter what she is dressed with makeup and hair for each one of them .. that hour a couple of times a week .. nothing but laughter and shouting .. was good to see that.

You guys I know we don’t post much right now, there really isn’t anything to say unless you want to hear the cursing, the tears from the feelings of Melanoma .. but that doesn’t help anyone does it  .. you already know that the doctors will do nothing else for Carole .. oh she wanted to!  but they said no, so a nurse comes out a couple of times a week to see her .. her name is Lacey, pretty nice gal .. and she has no problem in kicking off her shoes when she comes over, it’s a no shoes house you know .. heck with kids running in and out all the time it has to be, other wise you would just have to stand around with a broom and vacuum … and there are better things in life .. so kick off those shoes and sit a while, and tell stories, and remember the good times .. and tell people you love them, and show it too.

Remember that May is national Melanoma awareness month .. there are many MANY free skin check all over the USA so please call your local hospital and see if they can direct you to one .. or a local dermatologist .. find one .. do it

I love you Carole, I love you Jimmie, I love you Joshua, I love you Chloe, I love you Tiffani Jo, I love you Dakota (WHAT I didn’t hear you?  .. sorry little joke between Dakota and I ) .. and you .. each and everyone of you, thank you for caring, thank you for sharing your prayers, thank you so very very much.

Love, hugs, and tears

Sherrie Jo

It is the blackest day of your life. The doctor has told the two of you, sitting together in the office holding hands that your spouse is going to die. There are treatments available to ease the pain and suffering, maybe even lengthen their lifespan, but ultimately you need to set your affairs in order and begin to make plans for the final arrangements. It is the hardest thing you may ever have to do.

At first you will both be in denial. You will accuse your doctor of making a mistake, or seek another opinion; you simply refuse to believe it at first. You may try everything from experimental surgeries to holistic and alternative healing methods. You will curse and blame God. You can’t even begin to envision this person no longer a part of your life, but you find yourself thinking about it during work, during church, during family time. You will cry when you least expect to.

To say that these are normal responses seems trite, but it’s important to know that they are.

After the initial shock and denial, you will probably begin to bargain with God and be angry. You will feel guilty and ashamed by this, and that is normal as well. Now more than ever is the time for both of you to stay close to your faith. You may have friends and family who will tell you that it will be okay. I’m here to tell you the truth. It will not be okay, but you will get through it. There is a difference.

Spend as much time together and with family as possible. Here some family members may pull away, as hard as it is, let them go. People deserve to grieve anyway that they can, and sometimes the only way for that to happen is for family members and friends to distance themselves for awhile. Usually this is because they don’t know what to say, and know that anything they say will not really be comforting. Keep the lines of communication open, and keep everyone updated as to the progression of the illness.

When it is appropriate, meet with your clergyman to make arraignments. Do this while your spouse is still lucid, and let them make as many of the decisions as they feel they can take. Take care of all the arraignments, and then try to have as much fun together as you can, spend the remaining time you have together celebrating life, not planning for death. Go on a planned trip, if you can. Go see the ocean or the mountains together one last time, and make the most of the time you have left.

The hardest thing to do is to stay focused, everyone will have an opinion as to how the two of you should face the inevitable, but remember, you married to spend the rest of your lives together, so do whatever it is that the two of you want to do. God bless you and keep you close.   This is by Gillian Markson. I just know I have to post this for all of us I dont know what to say. I do know we are trying to make the most, Out of the time we have with no regrets. Carole has asked me to keep the kids in small town Shepherd. I will do my best. She wants us to be happy. I need help I want to take a trip with her and the kids. I keep asking her and she says anywhere is ok as long as its with the kids and I. I need to raise some money. Im asking everyone for help, I dont know how much time we have left. If you have any ideas please help. Thank you

Love Jimmie

Im so mad right now, I dont know what to do for her. I want to give her the world before its to late. I want the tumors to go away. I want to Stand on the tallest building and tell the world I love her and will not let her leave us. Chloe and Tiffani wrote  this song for her.

All those memory’s of growing up with you. And not finding out until it was to late. I swore I’d never think that you would ever leave and fly with the angels of the lord. I just wanna let you know that i love you and I’m never gonna let you go.
–So don’t– Don’t leave me now. Its only the beginning and i can’t be without you. So don’t– Don’t leave me now, because i need you –Oh– i need you.
Thinking about you not being here, i can’t stand it. Its frustrating and so confusing. Each day we find out something new just about you. The days are getting shorter and the hours are getting longer. I want it all to be gone.
–So don’t– Don’t leave me now. Its only the beginning and i can’t be without you. So don’t– Don’t leave me now, because i need you –Oh– i need you.
Your the best thing that’s ever been in my life. I just can’t let you walk away. So fight- Please fight, for the rest of your life.
–So don’t– Don’t leave me now. Its only the beginning and i can’t be without you. So don’t– Don’t leave me now, because i need you –Oh– i need you.
-We Love You Mom<3……

I need you to.

I love you Carole

Carole you are the best at everything. You make our family everything it is. It has been over a year and you are still fighting ever day for one more day. This past weekend we made sure our family will be together forever. Im scared and you know it, I could never be as strong as you. But you know if I could trade places, and take your pain away I would. This is not fare to you, the kids. I know we have a tough road ahead. Carole I love you.

I have wanted to post for a little while now but the words are so hard to come by.

But today I must, today the words are easy .. I can say this .. 1 YEAR ago Carole had her brain surgery, 1 year ago I watched her laying in that bed, we all watched her, we cried for her and with her and for each other .. we held on tight knowing that Carole would make it .. and she did .. through all the pain, through all the visits, through it all .. 1 year!

There are not a lot of people that can say that after being told they have metastasized Melanoma .. but she is a fighter, she hangs on, Carole has jumped every hurdle that was put in front of her .. just now a little slower because of her broken arm .. but she looks into her kids faces and lunches herself over another hurdle …

Carole you really are a truly amazing young lady .. I love you

Mom

Carole had her scans done yesterday They are not good at all. The tumors are back in her brain and 1 of them is bleeding. The Dr says we have 2 choices, 1) Enjoy the last few months of your life comfortably. or 2) See if they will do gamma knife on 2 of the tumors and hope and pray the other 4 stay the same and maybe she can get on a trial. I thought it was only in movies someone was told they are going to die and to enjoy the rest of your life. Carole and I cried for a while. All Carole kept saying is Dakota is not going to remember me, the kids are not going to have a mommy. Your not going to have a wife, Chris, Wendy and Ermal are not going to have a sister. My mom and Melinda are going to be hurt so bad……

Carole not one time did she say anything about herself. How strong is she?

I will write more later.

Jimmie

Hi all .. I am packing and getting a few things ready to take with me when I go back to Texas.  Sorry about not posting much .. but I guess this falls under the “No news is good news” category .. although there really isn’t any good news:(

Carole’s right arm has a pretty big fracture in it right below the humeral head that they can not cast, she has to keep it in a sling and has since they found out it was broken .. will take a long time to heal and she is still in a lot of pain and not able to do near as much as she could.   The thing about a fracture is that it can go at anytime without any notice or with the slightest bump or jar:(  and this fracture runs almost all the way through the bone.

Ok there is one thing that is new .. and I am not sure I or Jimmie posted.  The PET (positron emission tomography) scan showed another tumor:(  This one is in Carole’s left leg next to the femoral head .. ya .. just like the one that was in her arm was near the humeral head.  So the doctor said they will keep an eye on it too … should I yell now or later?  They knew about the one in her arm and just watched it get bigger and bigger until it weakened her bone enough to fracture it .. geez maybe if they were a cancer hospital they would know that that can happen and take steps before hand to make sure it doesn’t .. Oh wait .. THEY ARE!!  ya, anger spills out here too I guess.

When I left Texas the week before Thanksgiving the tumor was the size of a lemon drop, when they finally decided to go in and take it out .. it was the size of a small lemon.  So it went from a little over 1 centimeter to about 5 a half centimeters in 2 months (the surgery was January 18th)

So yes I guess there was news after all and I am very sorry for not posting it ..

How about a picture:)  a smile:)  or maybe 3 of them:)   Carole sent this to me a couple of weeks ago ..   This is the wig that Angie sent to Carole when she first lost her hair  ..  LOOK 3 redheads and a great picture to boot!

Miss Chloe Dawn, Miss Carole and Miss Tiffani

here is comes, get ready ..

HUG them!, grab them and hug them and tell them that you love them ..why? because life as we know it can change in a heartbeat.

NOTE! I had to update this post .. the Surgery was JANUARY 18th .. 2 months .. it only took 2 months to get so large.  I am sorry if this goes out as new posting again, if it does .. if it doesn’t then that is great.  Sometimes wordpress works great .. other times .. well not so much!

Figured it was about time for an update .. received a call from the kids (to me the kids are Jimmie and Carole ya’ll:) yesterday with some news .. talked to them again today for a bit.  Carole told me that she did laundry today, even folded all the towels (and honey I have done laundry there before .. I KNOW how many towels there are! lol:)  She has been in so much pain with her arm . . yes it still hurts and no she still can’t move it much ..

you may think to yourself .. “Wow .. she had the surgery to remove the tumor several weeks ago” “she should be better or at least in not so much pain by now”  … and you know what, your right, she should be .. she should be doing a lot of things by now.  But she isn’t and she is in just as much pain as before the surgery ..but it’s good she is able to do some stuff

want to know why she still hurts?

Because her arm is BROKE!!  .. will let sink in for a minute … HER ARM IS BROKE! and not one freaken doctor in all the time that she has gone in for the tumor in her arm has taken an xray, or ran a CT … not one!

OK .. here is the deal as I know it.  Carole had an appointment yesterday, they did an xray of her arm .. or maybe her chest . . not sure which (you do have to understand that we talk about so much I forget:( )  anyway .. they leave and a little while later Jimmie gets a phone call “Mr Mott are you aware that your wife has a broken arm? .. it looks to be about 3 weeks old”  WHAT .. WHAT!!!      ya go ahead .. say all you want to say .. heaven knows we have. She what??

The fracture is just under the humeral head (Right arm of course) and runs half way through the bone.  Really not sure if the doctor cracked it when doing the surgery for the tumor or not.   We are scared about what it may mean though    Doctor is finally talking about doing a PET scan but not for another 3 weeks!   They can’t cast it .. they are going back through the old CT’s and MRI’s to see if maybe any of them caught it by chance . a broken arm .. good lord no wonder she has been in so much pain for so long:(

Carole will be taking her second dose of Chemotherapy this Friday .. another one day treatment.  She didn’t get sick with the last one so we pray she doesn’t this time either.

oh did you back up and read that again .. ya so did I .. heck I wrote it and still can’t get over it .. a broken arm .. yep she is Super Mom, with her friendly sidekick .. the Caterpillar

Jessica bought this for Carole a couple of weeks ago for her arm .. she loves Her Candace

ok .. I guess that’s it for now .. either I or Jimmie will be back in the next few days to correct or update .. I will let you know how she does after this round of chemo

Give those hugs folks, lots of hugs, lots of I love you’s and live .. live each day like you may never get to say I love you again

Love, hugs, and tears

Sherrie Jo

Miss Tiffani Jo .. Carole’s youngest daughter sent me a little something tonight .. she ask me to please put it here on the website ..

Tiffani you did a beautiful job .. an absolutely beautiful job ..

A Mother Fighting Cancer By Tiffani Mott

Please click the above link to see the Video that she made ..

the phone just rang .. it was Jimmie telling me that the cops showed up to make sure there was no trouble while ‘they’ were trying to get Carole’s IV in for her chemo.

I guess I should go into that first eh?  Yes carole is on ChemoTherepy again .. starting this evening .. I am not sure of all the details because so much was said last time we talked about it that I just plum forgot everything:(  But she will be on the chemo drip for like 5 hours then she goes home, then Jimmie has to give her a shot the next day.  I am not sure how often she will be on the Chemo, once a week I think but don’t hold me that.  I do know that it is not the same drugs as last time because they didn’t help .. so it’s a different set this time.   They were supposed to be done around 1am .. but still no drip in yet so the time has changed … Continue reading →

I know all of you are worried and we haven’t posted for a few days.  I talked to Carole Thursday evening .. she is still in a lot (LOT!!!) of pain from the surgery to remove the tumor.  Jimmie made a few phone calls and was able to get her into a pain management doctor .. my first thought .. that REALLY should be what doctors at a Cancer hospital would think of first thing .. geez!  anyway .. he was able to get her in and the doctor ran a few tests .. she has nerve damage in her arm .. I do not know if it is from the surgery or the tumor caused it… Continue reading →

Things have been good. Her arm hurts, and she cant use it yet. We all have got out and did some things. We are waiting to hear from the dr about the treatment. I will keep you all up to date. If you have facebook Carole is http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/profile.php?id=1216517510 I hope this works if not look up Carole Mott.

Jimmie

Most of you know that Miss Chloe is Carole and Jimmie’s oldest daughter.  They were all going some place a while back and Chloe sent me a picture of her and her pin .. I texted back .. ‘honey you said a mouth full” The next picture I received was this one …

kind of says it all:(

hug em people .. hug them and tell them you love them, because as we all know ..

life as we know it can change in a heartbeat

~ Sherrie

This is the post that was texted to me by Jimmie .. he ask me to update you all

… Dr. just talked to me and said everything went good, they got the whole thing out.  It was pushing on the nerves and she should be able to pick up Dakota soon .. I will see her in around 30 minutes or so, please post to blog Sherrie …

So this is me posting and pretty close to jumping up and down for joy.  We (several of us and a doctor too) were worried that the tumor may have been wrapped around the nerves:(

Ok will wait for updates later ..

gives hugs all around people!

Just had a update from a nurse. All is good so far. They are removing the tumor and nodes under the arm only. I will update when I know more.

Jimmie

That is how the Dr came in the room, They tell us good news first. MRI of the brain Impression

1. Continued decrease in multiple intracranial metastases. 2 No new lesions.

…. In English Tumors in the brain are getting smaller, and no new ones. VERY HAPPY.

Bad news. CT Chest Impressions: Bilateral pulmonary nodules consistent with metastatic disease. There is evidence of progression. Study compared to 12/02/2010 and correlated with 10/15/2010. Enlarged axillary nodes also in keeping with metastatic disease. There has also been interval progression….

Continue reading →

Most the day Anderson has us there from 3 pm to 10 pm on Wednesday, Then from 730am to 4 pm on Thursday. Why Cant it be one day for the test? Carole has MRI’s, blood work and a meeting with the surgery team tomorrow. Then on Thursday she has a CT and X-rays, Then meets with her Dr to go over the results. She has been up and around most the day, The last few days. She is in alot of pain with her arm, The tumor is bigger. We hope the surgery helps. Carole did go get her nails and toes done on Saturday. It made her feel great. She did break one of the toe nails that night as she got sick witch was the last time she did get sick. She has been eating more everyday. Well im going to get to bed, Will post more when I know more

Thanks

Jimmie

But since I have had a few phone calls and several emails lately I thought I would post.  I talked to Carole on Thursday evening.  She is in a lot of pain because of the tumor in her arm .. they are still waiting for a consultation with a surgeon to see when something can be done about it.  I am sure when they know then either Jimmie or I or maybe even Carole will let you know.

Speaking of Carole …. Continue reading →

2010 went by so fast, seems like days ago we were still in Brunswick. I know 2011 will bring miracles. Our family wishes you and yours a happy new Year. God bless.

Jimmie

I wanted to take the time to wish all of our family and our friends a Happy New Year.  You all have done so much in the last few months, the cards, the prayers, the good thoughts and the well wishes for Carole and the family.  Thank you .. we hope you have a safe, happy, and very healthy New Year.

Big hugs and  love, lots and lots of love to each of you

Sherrie Jo

Faith faith faith is what we should all have. Carole is still sleeping most the day, But when she is awake she is doing more. She tried to make the dinner tonight, She got tired fast. She wanted to make Dakota his favorite. Cheesy goodness. Well just say Joshua got the first 4. He likes his well done. She sat back down and soon fell back asleep. They are going to remove the tumor in her arm this next week. It is getting bigger. The Dr does not thank the trial worked. She will go back to him on the 13th for more scans. At that time he will let us know what our choices are in treatment. That is where the faith comes in. Does she have it ? Do we have it ? Do my children have it ? Maybe maybe not. What do I have to do to believe she is going to be ok. Man we  sure picked a bad year to stop smoking. So just live life and enjoy it. I could say @#$% it. But Carole would kick my but.

Jimmie

Well I just want to start by saying OMG I never knew how much went in to making Christmas dinner, I have always helped Carole with a few things before but today was all me and I must say Im tired. Carole slept most the day in the recliner. We all sat at the dinner table and had a great dinner. Carole did eat a little bit then got back up and went to the recliner she talked on the phone to mom for a few min and went back to sleep. I sat on the love seat with Dakota and the next thing i know Dakota is waking me saying dad wake up. Now he is asleep in with mom, Im going to bed now. I just want to say thank you all for the prayers. I do read everything to her when she wakes up.  Thanks

Jimmie

Good morning everyone. The big day is here, Im so grateful.  I hope to have pictures and maybe a video up soon. I hope everyone has a blessed day. Merry X-Mas.

Carole is going to try and get a little shopping done. She did eat and keep down dinner tonight. She is asleep right now.

I should have posted this earlier today but am glad now that I waited as I actually got to talk to Carole for a bit tonight.

She was released last night to go home .. so home they went.  I am not sure of all the details but I know that at midnight last night Jimmie was at MD Anderson picking up some of the prescriptions.  They are not the only ones that had them .. but they are the only ones that didn’t want to charge 161 dollars for 1 one of them .. geez:(      He said Carole was home alseep.

As I said I just got off the phone with her .. She was pretty upset that she was able to go to Dakota’s school Christmas festivities Friday.   She sounded good tonight .. well I guess as good as you can expect huh?     They have their tree up and Tiffani sent me a picture .. is really really pretty.

OH and after 2 weeks with no food down or staying down .. she was actually able to eat a couple of bites tonight:)

that’s it for now .. give em hugs people!

This was added on the morning of the 18th to this posting and the ‘subject’ line changed ..

I have been trying to get this template for the notifications set up when I received a text from Jimmie.

He has taken Carole to the Cleveland ER .  She has been home a week (after being in the hospital for a week) and when I talked to her last night (Thursday the 16th) she still had not eaten anything and could not keep liquids down. All I know is that they had a hard time starting an IV and they are keeping her overnight to get fluids in her.  Either I or Jimmie Will post more later when more is known.

********** Continue reading →

The lumbar puncture results are back and they are normal. Carole is still in pain, She stays in bed most the day. She was able to stay up for a hour tonight and spend time with the kids. She told me she want to go to the store and go X-mas shopping, I guess we will try tomorrow. Well time for me to get some sleep. See ya

Jimmie

I dont know when she is going to be better. She is just sleeping all day every day. She gets up to get sick and take her pain pills then she goes back to sleep. I know she is not drinking enough water. I want the doctors to find out why. I feel helpless. I started looking for a job, We might have to move to a bigger city so im not to far from her and the kids during the day. If anyone knows anything please let me know. Well everyone have a good night.

Jimmie

I picked up Carole at 6:30 tonight. She got home and went straight to bed. Man it feels like home. Im tired but cant sleep. I have checked on her just as har and I did when we brought one of the kids home for the first time. Im so scared.  I know so many people are praying for her I just want to thank everyone. Well im going to try and sleep now. Thank you

Jimmie

Its been busy. Carole is still in the hospital. They dont know why she has a headache all the time. They are doing a lumber puncture at 1 tomorrow. They have her on pain med she is in and out of it. We did not go see her today. I miss her so much, This house is not the same without her in it. Chloe, Tiffani and Dakota put the tree up, We only did lights. We want to wait for mom and Joshua to be home to decorate. Well ill write more soon

Thank you

Jimmie

and a little more too.   First off, Carole is in the hospital for a few days.  I do not know for how long.  Jimmie said 2 or 3 days .. they are trying to keep her from getting pneumonia as she has been very very sick.  She also has an infection some where that they can’t find.  Jimmie updated the facebook so I am updating here for the rest of the family not on facebook and for friends.

These were his postings ..most resent is first… Continue reading →

I thought about whether to write or not and decided to .. so here goes. Today is Thanksgiving (at least for a few more minutes) and Tim and I spent it alone, but we were very Thankful that we both got to talk to or text our children and our fathers .. both of our mothers have passed away.

All of our kids are spending Thanksgiving with their family or friends as we all live so far apart .. but I am so thankful that that is what they are doing.  That they are all still here and spending time with family or family of friends.  Because not being able to talk to them, to call them, to text them .. it’s not something I want to think about…. Continue reading →

Mom is at home now. It was nice to have her help so much thank you. We are all doing good. I will write more later.

What is Love
Love is that sparkle in someones eyes when you first meet .
Love is meeting that someone at a party and staying up all night talking
Love is calling that person the next day and saying how fun it was.
Love is letting the other person tell you they are in love with someone else
and you staying around to help heal their heart when it dont work out .
Love is holding a child and loving him like your own just cause he is hers .
Love is making children and watching them be born .
Love is working things out when you make a mistake .
Love is forgiving when they make a mistake .
Love is the only cure when the doctors say you have cancer .
What is Love
Love is you and me my dear .
James Mott

Everyone in the house is sick.  Chloe and Tiffani have strep and I think Dakota, Carole and I have it also.   All we can do today is stay at home and watch football.  Poor poor me.  Carole goes back to Hot Springs on Thursday for her final treatment of the IPI.   Then in the next 2 weeks we should  know something. Keep up the prayers please, and remember to hug someone you care about right now cause you never know.   Thank you all.

Jimmie

It is 10/31 at 11:50 pm.   Everyone is asleep we all had a great time.  Carole ,  Sherrie and I took the kids out for some trick or treating.  We all walked a lot and got scared a lot.   I need everyone to understand this fight is as hard as it gets, I would never want to see anyone have to fight this hard to stay alive.   Carole is in pain all day every day.   She could get more meds to ease it but she wants to be there for the kids and I.   She told me last night, She falls asleep with the thought in her head, Did I do everything I could of to help Jimmie if I don’t wake up.   I did not know what to say to her.   I did walk to the bathroom locked the door and just cried and prayed, Please god not now.   Carole has lost all her hair from the radiation she will not even walk around the house without it covered She is so strong and I’m so helpless to help her.  The Father of Julie with the BTHO Melanoma foundation told us we could use his beach house in Galveston for a week or weekend and sent a check for 500 dollars for as the memo on the check reads relaxation.  We are working on the days for that.  We want to thank him so much.  The pilot who flew us from Hot Springs home is going to fly us there and back on the 11th. We should only be gone for 8 to 10 hours. Please feel free to thank everyone as we make sure everyone gets this blog. I want to tell everyone Thank you from me for the support and prayers. And all the guys in California who i used to work with at Comcast keep up the prayers. Sorry for the gap in post. I will write more soon.

Thank you

Jimmie

Well today Carole and Mom went to Houston to do the tests. I stayed home and made dinner cleaned the house, O and played the game for a bit….. I must say Carole and I did not know about the kids skating in the house. Looks like we might have to have the kids watch mom next time. Carole is doing good. She feels good, A little tired. Always wants to eat. We see the Dr on Monday he will let us know the results of the MRI and CT’s. Tell then thanks
Jimmie

I have to say that I am really really sorry for not updating sooner.  All I can say is cable here is bad .. really really bad!  and since I have to update ONline then it just didn’t happen.  I have been in Texas since the 29th .. you read where the kids (as in Jimmie and Carole) made the trip to Arkansas.

Well should I tell you what happened here while they were gone?  lol  You know how when the parents are gone the kids throw parties and stuff .. weeelllllll !  no we didn’t have a party but what we did do was move all the furniture in the great room (we surrounded the TV with the big couch sections for protection) and then I let them skate!  lol  it really was pretty fun and by the time mom and dad got back .. well Dakota is pretty darn good!   We of course had everything back where it belonged before they got home .. so don’t tell them ok!

Today is Thursday the 14th .. it is Carole’s 9th day of Whole Brain radiation treatment.  So far she is doing really well! So keep up all those “Get er done” prayers:) Kind of sad it is so far away though .. drive 70 miles then through Houston traffic to be at MD Anderson for 15 minutes tops .. then back home again.  Tomorrow (Friday) is the last day but it is filled with tons of tests too so they will be there all day long again:(

Other than being a little tired Carole looks wonderful .. has some weird things going on with her eyes now and then but she looks wonderful and just keeps going and going.

big hugs to you all and since I am giving you one .. then turn around and pay it forward, hugs, lots and lots of hugs to pass around because remember .. life as we know it can change in a heartbeat.

Sherrie

We are heading home in a few. Carole is sick this time. Its going to be a long ride for her. Will have mom give updates.
Thanks Jimmie

Carole is getting her treatment of the IPI. We are staying the night just the 2 of us…. Hope she does not get sick from treatment. On Monday she starts whole brain radiation. Her eyes are starting to bug her. The Dr said the new tumors are in that part of the brain. I will write more when we get home.
Jimmie

Hi everyone .. I know that I haven’t been on much lately but unless you want to hear about how great Dakota is doing in school, and boyfriend troubles or lack of troubles (the grand kids not ME! .. geez! or how Joshua is doing in football this year (by the way he is in California this weekend for football) then there really isn’t much to say.

SO if you do want all that good stuff too then just hang on a bit longer because I will be back in Texas on the 29th (till around the middle of November) and I will take lots of photo’s and tattle on everyone there:)  he he he  course they are all used to me having a camera in my hand so it is no surprise to any of them:)

Carole goes back to Arkansas Next week.  They will leave on Thursday to be there for the Friday morning (Oct. 1st)  trial.   Not sure if this has been mentioned and even so .. well you all are used to me repeating myself so here goes:)  Carole will be going to the trial every three weeks.

This next one is the 1st of October ..

the third one will be the 22nd of October

and the 4th one will be the 12th of November …

at least that is the way that I have it calculated out.   If I am wrong then Jimmie or Carole can correct it .. me .. it .. what ever:)  Since I will be there this time (for the October 1st appointment) then the girls and I will be staying in Texas  ..  at least I am pretty sure that is the plan .. so someone might want to check and make sure they haven’t tied me up and left me and the house while they run around with friends:) lol Just kidding of course .. they are great:)

OK .. now to why I am posting with the above subject line.   Sunday the 26th (as in just a couple of days!) is the big yearly BTHO Melanoma fundraiser in TEXAS!! it’s at the Landolt Pavilion in Clear Lake from 11am to 3pm .. lots of things to do and eat.

The local Fox news there did a special report on Julie and the foundation and the fundraiser this Sunday .. please watch the clip .. please go to it if you can .. because you know what .. even though it is a fundraiser and they are doing great work in helping several families with melanoma this year (Including ours truly) there will be FREE sun screening and we ALL know how very important that is .. so go, have fun, meet the founders, Meet Carole, Jimmie and the kids (yep they are going to be there), donate (oh you bet I said it!  I know how very important those dollars are and how they help in sooooooo many ways!) but do one other thing while you are there .. GET CHECKED!  for you, for your family, for your friends .. for me .. get checked!

Now go meet Brendan and watch the clip on Julie and the kids and understand why there is a BTHO Melanoma Fundraiser every year ..

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/health/100924-julie-lyons-melanoma

OK .. now go hug someone you love, because life can change in a heartbeat

big hugs to you all

Sherrie Jo

But now I must post because I know many many friends and family are waiting to know something.

Before Carole went to the new trial in Arkansas she had to have current baseline scans for the Genesis Cancer Center.  Carole and Jimmie received the findings yesterday.  Comparing the scans to the last scans in July they found several things .. there are a confirmed 7 tumors in the brain, plus the other tumors through Carole’s body are both larger and smaller . . meaning that some are larger and a couple are smaller.

The doctor at Genesis said that the ‘lumps’ (pretty large by the way) that Carole has in her Bre ast (spelled wrong by the way so we don’t end up in spam folders) and in her lymph node under her right arm are tumors.  BUT the good (ya good) thing about them is that he can touch them, he will be able to know if the trial with the Ipilimumab is helping the tumors shrink .. this means that even though Carole has to wait until the end of the trial to get CT’s and MRI scans again that they can have a little ‘cheat’ in between.

I know that sometimes it is just so hard to come and read here .. that is why we try and post the happy moments too .. the great pictures, the school things, the silly things kids do .. we do smile, we do laugh, we do joke  … but we also do need to let you all know the ugly side of this too.  It’s ok if you don’t have any words or don’t know what to say, really and truly there are times that we don’t either .. sometimes you just have to hug

I told a friend that we will not know anything about the inside tumors for at least 12 weeks .. you know what she said (in so m any words or less) .. What a wonderful Christmas gift it will be when they come back and everything is smaller.  She is right .. all I could think of is Carole and how she has to wait so long to know .. sometimes it takes someone on the outside looking in to see the flip side of the coin .. Yes what a wonderful Christmas gift that will be.

I will say this … Carole you keep fighting, you keep doing what you are doing, you keep your body strong and we .. well we will keep praying and sending out those good healing thoughts …

poop .. have to go wash my face

Love, hugs, and tears

I wish I were there to give you a big hug ..

Happy Birthday Carole.

I love you very very much

and I am  .. well heck last just start at the beginning of the day

First off breakfast .. you know what ‘they’ say .. the most important meal of the day:) So bright and early this morning …

I can see that it looks like mommy and Dakota ate .. looks like Tiffani is eating, but me thinks that Miss Chloe .. well hmmm is that a phone in her hand?  yep I am sure it is:)

Now on to the Genesis Cancer Center .. I am pretty sure there were butterflies fluttering in a few tummies ..but after the paperwork was done Carole began the first treatment of the Ipilimumab Clinical trial.

Caption was .. and here we go, say your prayers

I was standing in the middle of my kitchen when I received that text and picture .. and honey that is exactly what I did!

{{dries eyes}}

ok .. nothing to do for a few hours so Jimmie and the kids head out for a bit ..

Chloe says she found the car that she wants ..

Actually the text said “Daddy is going to buy me this”

ROFL!!  when I was finished laughing I texted her back …lol heck I am still laughing:) but honey it is a very pretty car:)

then they headed back to the motel for a bit …

Not yet kids … must wait for the mom:)

OH OH OH .. was that Carole that just texted and said she was done?   well I think so!  She was done and had to wait for about an hour so they could monitor her .. the next thing I know I get this ….

WOOHOO!!!  look at that big beautiful smile .. and look no barf bag!

She did great this time!!  So they did a little site seeing, HEY did you know that it is the weekend for the Hot Springs Motorcycle Rally ..  Harley’s ALL OVER!!  But no pics .. sorry:)

But look what Dakota found .. and a friend too!

Then they grabbed a little lunch I think .. but don’t hold me to that one, they may have saved eating for dinner ..

NOW you can swim!!

The girls never miss a chance to send out big peace signs

and Dakota .. well he never misses a chance to hide from Grandma:)

on your mark .. get set ..

GO!:)

They also drove around and read about and found about the Hot Springs and the Cold Springs there .. pretty amazing stuff!   and then they went to dinner at Perkins Family restaurant …

Dakota was pretty well all played out .. so he slept against momma.  Now the kids could have eaten at any of the fast food places that were close to the motel .. but they found this place and decided on a real sit down dinner.  Now to tell you about their Waitress .. Peggy .. The kids were telling her why they were in town, and it turns out that Peggy’s daughter works at the Cancer center.      Peggy gave Carole and Jimmie all her contact info, she has offered her home to them when they have to come back .. Thank you Peggy .. from one mom to another mom, thank you so so much!

Now to the serious stuff .. we all want to thank you all for your support, your prayers, your help, your shoulders, and your smiles … Thank you!

Well that’s it I guess .. for now

Give out those hugs freely people and say I love you .. Sweet dreams

OH and as is the norm .. if anything is wrong here then Jimmie can fill it in or fix it in his postings:)

Well its 12:50 am, We are in the room, Chloe, Tiffani are sleeping. Dakota is getting there. Carole is nervous  and i am writing you all. Say a  prayer and have faith this will work. We got here with everyone’s help so it has to be the right choice. I will post to you all when we are done at the Dr. And we all send a great big hug to mom for keeping this up to date.

Thank you

Jimmie

Hi all .. I can tell from my inbox that a post is needed again.  Today is Carole’s third day of going to MD Anderson for tests that will be sent to Arkansas for the trial that she has been excepted in.

They will be leaving this evening and the trial will begin early Friday morning .. then they will be head back home Saturday morning.  It’s a long drive from Shepherd to Hot Springs (about 7 hours)  but it will be a nice road trip on the way out for them all.  On the way back? well we really do not know how it will be as no one knows how the drug will hit Carole .. some get really sick, and some don’t .. time will tell .. Sometimes Carole hits the good side of the percentages so lets all pray she does this time too:)

I want to send out a public Thank you to everyone out there that has helped with this trip to the trial.   You have all helped more than you will ever ever know in making this trip possible!  BTHO Melanoma also made a donation right along with you all .. if you haven’t read about Julie and the Foundation set up in her name .. please do read her story and remember .. GET CHECKED!!  Please get checked!

OK now go give someone you love a big big hug

NOTE .. sorry to all over you who receive the blog notices .. I hit post too soon and didn’t get it stopped so you ended up getting 2 notices for an update one that said Busy, busy and the other one was blank . . {{hangs head}} guess I should tell you all that I am not perfect .. NO REALLY!! I’m not .. but ummmmm lets not let that get around:)

I just felt the need to send a little Thank you to family far and near, old friends, new friends here and there ..

A Thank you for always being there when we feel the need to cry, vent, stand up and shout, sit down and pout, and when we need to laugh and feel your arms around us, your love surrounding us … you seem to have that for us too .. you are always there and for that we all thank you so so much …

Carole and the kids are in bed. Little Dakota was very tired. I guess going to to school full time makes you a little tired. Carole is ok for the most part, She is great to the kids. She just keeps it all inside when they are around, I dont know how but she is so strong when it comes to the kids.  Me not so much. I just tell them to go ask your mother. She will start the trial on Sep 9th. It is in Hot Springs AR. This next week we go back to MD Anderson for more scans. MRI and CT. And the blood work. We will let everyone know when we find out, She has had a lump form on her breast and a lump under her arm. We do not know what they are. Im going to say this just how I can I hope everyone understands, Carole could not go back to MD Anderson tell now because of our Insurance. My insurance with Comcast stopped on 7-1-2010. We could not pay Cobra 1490.00 a month to keep it going. I tried to get help with the premium and could not. I have tried to find a job, But everyone wants to know why I no longer work at Comcast and I tell them I got hurt on the job and they fired me when the Dr said I could not squat. I still get 60% of my wage until they settle , But not my insurance.  Even with a new job they will not insure Carole because of the pre existing condition. I thank Carole is a little mad at me. I tried to get on with Comcast in Humble or Houston in the phone center but they never called me back after I talked with 3 human resource workers and sent my resume. I know god has a plan and we will do his will. We have food on the table roof over our heads and each other. Mom has asked for help on this for us and now I must also. If you could help in any way we would appreciate it. Remember early detection is key to beating this go for a checkup.  Hope you all well

Thanks

Jimmie

It was Dakota’s first day of school today. Carole and I took him to school and he stayed all day without a tear. He came home and said he liked it. He loves his teacher, and the toys, He played outside on the slide. He ate lunch and took a little nap. He was so happy. Carole was so happy. Our little one is in school it is so cool. Daddy is just a little happy also. I want to let everyone know Carole says she is feeling strange lately. Not this Sunday but next Sunday our church is going to fast and pray for her. I would like everyone to pray every day. I would also like everyone to ask someone that does not know about Carole to pray for her that Sunday. I know the more people that pray the better. I don’t know what is going to happen. I pray we get to keep her with us and she beats this. It is hard to talk to her face to face because I know everything that is wrong, I try to have faith but I always see or hear bad things. I am so mad, angry. ITS NOT FARE  for Carole to have to go though this. We all cry for her all the time, I should be strong for her and the kids. I try. I am sorry you all have to see the good with the bad. I will write more later.

Thanks James

Enjoy a few pictures of the kids on their first back to school day

AND

Dakota’s very first day of school

and laugh and laugh.  I forgot about this until I downloaded my pictures from the camera just now.

Here dad .. I can do that for you!

No really dad .. it’s looking good!

ok just let me take off a little more in this side

and  now to clean up behind the ears ..

HEY MOM!!  you and daddy match now

but I have to wonder which scarf Jimmie will wear:) lol

hugs those next to you folks!

First off I need to say My 1st baby Ashley is here with her soon to be husband and there 2 children. Ashley told us she is pregnant. So So happy All hoping for a girl, except daddy he wants a boy. We will all be happy with what comes out. Ashley and Anthony might get married on the 24 th of September. If everything works out. And baptized on the 25th. They are turning there lives around. Im so happy I can be there for them, They are both trying to go back to school. Carole and I will support them in any way they need help. As all who know Carole she loves to help. She has always said if we ever get that phone call ” Dad I need help” we would be there. And some how she like always was right. She puts others first and just lives day by day. Carole and I talked and we have noticed the last 2 weeks we have not talked about her being sick. It is like she never was sick ” I wish”. We are going to get back on some type of treatment. She does not look sick but the hair every night reminds me this was not a dream. I tell Carole every day I love her and she is my world. I just wish I could do more and more everyday for her. I know this was more for me then all of you, Thanks for reading and your prayers and please hug someone.

Thanks

Jimmie

That there may be times when you laugh with us and times when you cry …. I cried the whole time I wrote this.  If memories make your heart smile then why on earth do the tears roll?

I changed the photo’s today for the slide show .. most of the photo’s I took myself .. some Jimmie took, some the kids took.  I see the smiling faces and remember what each sound was like around me as I took mine, the laughter, the smiles.  I look at the pictures that others took and remember the text that was sent to me as they came into my blackberry ..or the story that was told me

.. The happiness I felt when I listened to Carole tell me of her great Independence day escape, of her dance, of the laughter of the kids, the wheelchair, Carole’s walking stick that became her pole for her freedom dance .. and the tears flow

.. I remember talking on the phone with Carole almost the whole time they were getting ready for church and them looking for and finding Dakota’s belt, getting all the shoes on ..

.. then later them telling me that Dakota was tired of taking pictures (ya got to really look at his face in the picture where you can tell they are ready for church .. too funny) ..

.. I remember Jimmie teasing Carole about her being his .. ummmm WITCH! several years ago when Tim and I handed down our costumes to them for Halloween ..even while laughing the tears are rolling down my cheeks

.. I remember Jimmie telling me how much fun Dakota had at the Zoo and all the pictures that Jimmie sent me, then I remember that was the day that Carole had so much happen during her blood infusion and her week stay at the hospital because of it .. and the tears flow remembering how very bad that week was and how much pain Carole was in

.. I remember having my camera in my hand when I looked down and saw Dakota laughing at something behind me and I snapped off a couple of him ..

Do I put up the pictures for you all .. or do I put them up for me?  I don’t know, I do know that I want you all to see the beautiful family that I see .. the laughter in and behind the photo’s .. does that show?  Will it still show 10 years from now?  Will I still sit with tears flowing so hard that I find myself saying ‘thank goodness for spell check!”

I take lots and lots of photo’s .. they are memories caught in time.  Now I ask you to do the same, take at least one photo a day, flowers, pets, maybe your clean living room, kids, neighbors kids .. take some snapshots and hug .. give lots and lots and lots of hugs!!

Hug someone close to you, because life can change in a heartbeat

ok .. mailbox is full of “whats happening” (s) so I thought I better jump in and write a little:)  Still no word on what is going to happen in Arkansas .. waiting for paper work and such.  I can tell you from first hand experience that Carole is doing great.  Guess what .. the doctor has even released her to drive!  So she is pretty happy about that:)

When I arrived to Texas Jan-Nell (one of Jimmie’s kids) was here visiting, she has gone back to New York. Jan-Nell had a birthday when she was here .. so of course grandma (that would be me:) took a picture of her face after it was shoved into the cake .. a little family tradition:)

His oldest daughter, her boyfriend and kids are here.  Gotta tell you that it is sooooooooooooooooo much fun hearing the oldest (3 years old) calling for grandma and or grandpa .. tooooooo funny!:) Here is a picture of the youngest (4 months old)

SO with the oldest here and plenty of help in the house for a little while I am going to head to Brunswick for a couple of weeks.  I am taking with me everything that I have been working on (Shoes, puppies and bathing suits) .. just gotta love things you can travel with:)

Ya’ll have a great great week and I will catch you on the flip flop .. taking computer home too so you might even see me on a list or two! 

Hug someone close to you right now! because life can change in an instant

lots of love ~Sherrie

I guess i should let everyone know Carole is doing good right now. The Dr is stopping chemo, It is not working. We have found a Clinical trial drug called Ipilimumab. It is in Hot springs Arkansas. We are hoping this works. She will get one dose every 3 weeks. The sponsor is Bristol-Myers Squibb who pays for the drug itself. The Dr and Hospital is paid for by us. My med insurance at work is no good right now because Comcast terminated me. I do have the choice to get cobra at 1460.00 a month. Carole and I can not afford that at all. I need to keep the insurance because of the cancer. I have found a few places that will help with premium payments with different cancers but not with Melanoma. So I will keep looking. And please if anyone knows of a place that can help please let us know.

If any of you happen to own or manage a hotel or motel in Hot Springs we sure could use a cheap room:)

just letting friends and family know that we made it to Texas .. Tim and left Brunswick at 10:30pm Wednesday night .. pretty sad because we started to leave sooooooooooooooo much earlier!  anyway we finally got out of town and made it to Shepherd about 4pm Friday.   BUT you know what is really wrong with all that?  Tim left here at noon on Sunday after church (we went with the kids) and he made it back home at 2:30 in the afternoon on MONDAY!   We found out that we took the loooonnnnngggg way here.  crazy!

I have lots of new pictures and will be changing out the top slideshow in the next couple of days .. but have to remember how I did it in the first (and second) place:) lol